NO WORDS NEEDED*…PHOTO

“I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE DOESN’T SEE THAT!”

SMILE…….. FOR A THURSDAY AFTERNOON*

A little old lady was running up and
down the halls in a nursing home. As she walked, she would
flip up the hem of her nightgown and say ‘Supersex.’
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping
her gown at him, she said, ‘Supersex.’ He sat
silently for a moment or two and finally answered,
‘I’ll take the soup.’

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

Tjamks Pam!

A Heartwarming Story you want to Read*

The first day of school our professor introduced himself and challenged us to get to know someone we didn’t already know. I stood up to look around when a gentle hand touched my shoulder.

I turned around to find a wrinkled, little old lady beaming up at me with a smile that lit up her entire being.

She said, ‘Hi handsome. My name is Rose. I’m eighty-seven years old. Can I give you a hug?’

I laughed and enthusiastically responded, ‘Of course you may!’ and she gave me a giant squeeze.

‘Why are you in college at such a young, innocent age?’ I asked.

She jokingly replied, ‘I’m here to meet a rich husband, get married, and have a couple of kids…’

‘No seriously,’ I asked. I was curious what may have motivated her to be taking on this challenge at her age.

‘I always dreamed of having a college education and now I’m getting one!’ she told me.

After class we walked to the student union building and shared a chocolate milkshake.

We became instant friends. Every day for the next three months we would leave class together and talk nonstop. I was always mesmerized listening to this ‘time machine’ as she shared her wisdom and experience with me.

Over the course of the year, Rose became a campus icon and she easily made friends wherever she went. She loved to dress up and she revelled in the attention bestowed upon her from the other students. She was living it up.

At the end of the semester we invited Rose to speak at our football banquet. I’ll never forget what she taught us. She was introduced and stepped up to the podium. As she began to deliver her prepared speech, she dropped her three by five cards on the floor.

Frustrated and a little embarrassed she leaned into the microphone and simply said, ‘I’m sorry I’m so jittery. I gave up beer for Lent and this whiskey is killing me! I’ll never get my speech back in order so let me just tell you what I know..’

As we laughed she cleared her throat and began, ‘We do not stop playing because we are old; we grow old because we stop playing.

There are only four secrets to staying young, being happy and achieving success.. You have to laugh and find humour every day. You’ve got to have a dream. When you lose your dreams, you die.

We have so many people walking around who are dead and don’t even know it!

There is a huge difference between growing older and growing up.

If you are nineteen years old and lie in bed for one full year and don’t do one productive thing, you will turn twenty years old. If I am eighty-seven years old and stay in bed for a year and never do anything I will turn eighty-eight.

Anybody can grow older. That doesn’t take any talent or ability. The idea is to grow up by always finding opportunity in change. Have no regrets.

The elderly usually don’t have regrets for what we did, but rather for things we did not do. The only people who fear death are those with regrets.’

She concluded her speech by courageously singing ‘The Rose.’

She challenged each of us to study the lyrics and live them out in our daily lives. At the year’s end Rosefinished the college degree she had begun all those years ago.

One week after graduation Rose died peacefully in her sleep.

Over two thousand college students attended her funeral in tribute to the wonderful woman who taught by example that it’s never too late to be all you can possibly be.

When you finish reading this, please send this peaceful word of advice to your friends and family, they’ll really enjoy it!

These words have been passed along in loving memory of ROSE.

REMEMBER, GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY. GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL. We make a Living by what we get; we make a Life by what we give.

God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage. If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Thanks to Pam!

CUTE STORIES……Grandparents in the Eyes of Grandchildren . .

Grandparents:

1. She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under thewatchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she’d done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said,
‘But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!’ I willprobably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye…

2. My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, ’62.’ My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, ‘Did you start at 1?’

3. After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew
thin. Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with trembling voice; ‘Who was THAT?’

4. A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood was like: ‘We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods. The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, ‘I sure wish I’d got to know you sooner!’

5. My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, ‘Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?’ I mentally polished my halo and I said, ‘No, how are we alike? ” You’re both old,” he replied.

6. A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’sword processor. She told him she was writing a story. ‘What’s it about?’
he asked. ‘I don’t know,’ she replied. “I can’t read.”

7. I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, ‘Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these, yourself!’

8. When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, ‘It’s no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights.’

9. When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, ‘I’m not sure.’ ‘Look in your underwear, Grandpa,’ he advised, ‘mine says I’m 4 to 6.’

10. A second grader came home from school and said to hergrandmother, ‘Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.’ The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. ‘That’s interesting,’ she said, ‘how do you make babies? ‘It’s simple,’ replied the girl. ‘You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”

11. Children’s Logic: ‘Give me a sentence about a public servant,’ said a teacher. The small boy wrote: ‘The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.’ The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. ‘Don’t you know what
pregnant means?’ she asked. ‘Sure,’ said the young boy confidently. ‘It means carrying a child.

12. A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog’s duties.
‘They use him to keep crowds back,’ said one child. ‘No,’ saidanother. ‘He’s just for good luck.’ A third child brought the argument to a
close. ‘They use the dogs,’ she said firmly, ‘to find the fire hydrants.’

13. A 6-YEAR-OLD WAS ASKED WHERE HIS GRANDMA LIVED. ”OH,” HE SAID, ”SHE LIVES AT THE AIRPORT, AND WHEN WE WANT HER, WE JUST GO GET HER. THEN
WHEN WE’RE DONE WITH HER, WE TAKE HER BACK TO THE AIRPORT.

14. GRANDPA IS THE SMARTEST MAN ON EARTH! HE TEACHES ME GOOD THINGS,
BUT I DON’T GET TO SEE HIM ENOUGH TO GET AS SMART AS HIM!

15. My Grandparents are funny, when they bend over; you hear gas leaks, and they blame their dog.

Thanks to my friend Pam S. for this one!!

Billboard for Swimmers…….funny*

Did something just happen????….*(*

An elderly millionaire,feeling his oats, went to a popular Nevada bordello and told the madam that money was no object-he wanted the company of someone young and wild.

She looked him over and asked how old he was. “Ninety-three,” he replied.

“Oh, boy, Pops, you’ve had it,” said the madam with a snort.

“I have?” he said. “How much do I owe you?”

How to LOOK at your bank Account….and smile*

This is AWESOME … something we should all remember.

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
I love it,’ he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.’
‘That doesn’t have anything to do with it,’ he replied.
Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.
‘It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice;
I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away… Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank.
I am still depositing.
‘Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Thanks to Kristi!!!

Something for you to think about*

How to Dance in the Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80’s arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor’s appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer’s Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, ‘And you still go every morning, even though she doesn’t know who you are?’

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, ‘She doesn’t know me, but I still know who she is.’

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arms, and thought,

‘That is the kind of love I want in my life.’

True love is neither physical, nor romantic.

True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in e-mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This is one of those.

The happiest people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.

‘Life isn’t about how to survive the storm,

but how to dance in the rain

Thanks for the reminder, Kristi!

The $2.99 Special…….. *(*

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the ‘seniors’ special’ was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2..99.

‘Sounds good,’ my wife said. ‘But I don’t want the eggs.’

‘Then, I’ll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you’re ordering a la carte,’ the waitress warned her.

‘You mean I’d have to pay for not taking the eggs?’ my wife asked incredulously.

‘YES!!’ stated the waitress.

‘I’ll take the special then,’ my wife said.

‘How do you want your eggs?’ the waitress asked.

‘Raw and in the shell,’ my wife replied.

She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

DON’T MESS WITH SENIORS!!!

WE’VE been around the block more than once!

Thanks again to Kristi……

I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE ……. *(*

I kid you not…

New Wine for Seniors

California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.

The new wine will be marketed as

~~~~~PINO MORE~~~~~

Kristi sent me this!!!