POLITICAL HUMOR…LAUGH with DORAZ*

Barack Obama meets with the Queen of England. He asks her, “Your Majesty, how do you run such an efficient government? Are there any tips you can give to me?”

“Well,” says the Queen, “the most important thing is to surround yourself with intelligent people.”

Obama frowns “But how do I know the people around me are really intelligent?”

The Queen takes a sip of tea. “Oh, that’s easy. You just ask them to answer an intelligent riddle.” The Queen pushes a button on her intercom. “Please send Tony Blair in here, would you?”

Tony Blair walks into the room. “Yes, my Queen?”

The Queen smiles. “Answer me this, please, Tony. Your mother and father have a child. It is not your brother and it is not your sister. Who is it?”

Without pausing for a moment, Tony Blair answers, “That would be me.”

“Yes! Very good,” says the Queen.

Obama goes back home to ask Joe Biden, his vice president, the same question. “Joe. Answer this for me. Your mother and your father have a child. It’s not your brother and it’s not your sister. Who is it?”

“I’m not sure,” says Biden. “Let me get back to you on that one.” He goes to his advisors and asks every one, but none can give him an answer. Finally, he ends up in the men’s room and recognizes Colin Powell’s shoes in the next stall.

Biden asks Powell, “Colin! Can you answer this for me? Your mother and father have a child and it’s not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Colin Powell yells back, “That’s easy. It’s me!”

Biden smiles, and says, “Thanks!” Then, he goes back to speak with Obama.

“Say, I did some research and I have the answer to that riddle. It’s Colin Powell.”

Obama gets up, stomps over to Biden, and angrily yells into his face, “No, you idiot! It’s Tony Blair!”

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WHAT ARE 3 THINGS YOU WOULD DO TO RUN AN “EFFICIENT” GOVERNMENT?
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Thanks to Pam S. for this one!

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7/24…What do you have to say?

What would your reaction be if you heard that President Obama was coming to your town for a TOWN MEETING?

Quote of The Day…4/27*

“No, no. I have been practicing…I bowled a 129. It’s like — it was like Special Olympics, or something.” –making an off-hand joke during an appearance on “The Tonight Show”, March 19, 2009 (Obama later called the head of the Special Olympics to apologize)

How to LOOK at your bank Account….and smile*

This is AWESOME … something we should all remember.

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised and proud man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably combed and shaved perfectly, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today.
His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.
As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.
I love it,’ he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.
Mr. Jones, you haven’t seen the room; just wait.’
‘That doesn’t have anything to do with it,’ he replied.
Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time.
Whether I like my room or not doesn’t depend on how the furniture is arranged .. it’s how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it.
‘It’s a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice;
I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do.
Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open, I’ll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I’ve stored away… Just for this time in my life.
Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you’ve put in.
So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories!
Thank you for your part in filling my Memory Bank.
I am still depositing.
‘Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

Thanks to Kristi!!!

Thought for the Day…..3/22 *

Dear Sirs:
One of my checks was returned marked “insufficient funds”. In view of current events in the banking market, does that refer to me or to you?

Just Thought I’d Ask You This Question?………1/29*

How do you think the new President is doing, so far?

Election is causing a lot of ranting out west!

With all the craziness going on in this world, I never get bored with watching people. Lately, I have noticed a lot of changes. It seems that a lot of people are REALLY upset over this election and the candidates. I hear people making good and bad comments ALL DAY LONG! I guess people are worried, some are excited, and some are fearful. I actually have friends and relatives calling me with their viewpoints on things! Some people are asking ME what I am going to do. I think that the fact that people are talking to one another and trying to figure things out, is GREAT! I believe everyone has a right to an opinion and that they should be able to share it without fear. I just get upset over the fact that a lot of people rely on the judgement of others instead of educating themselves to things. It will be very interesting to see what happens after this election. I really don’t know how I feel about all this. I have a weird feeling about it. How about you?