Attention…Aliens are coming…….

ATTENTION

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Aliens are coming to abduct all

the good looking and sexy people.

YOU WILL BE SAFE.

I am just posting this comment to say…

GOOD BYE

Thanks Lisa…I think?

Just Thought I’d Ask You This Question….5/8*

To all the people in relationships:

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If a STRANGER had a million dollars in a briefcase that they showed you and told you it was yours if you had sex with him/her…..on the spot…..what would you do? Oh, you could not tell your significant other about it!

To all the people not in a relationship:

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If a STRANGER who did not “look” like someone you would want to marry…told you if you married them…right then…you would get the million dollars…what would you do? Oh, it would have to be till death do you part!

Quote of the Day…..4/25*

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I want to be an artist that everyone can relate to, that’s young, happy and fun.

I want to wait to have sex until I’m married.

I wish my hair was thicker, and I wish my feet were prettier. My toes are really ugly. I wish my ears were smaller. And my nose could be smaller too.

I would like to be called an inspiration to people, not a role model – because I make mistakes like everybody else. When I’m offstage, I’m just like everybody else.

I would really, really, really like to be a legend like Madonna. Madonna knows what to do next, and when she’s performing, the audience is just in awe of her.

Britney Spears quotes….

Quote of the Day…..4/13*

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I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
Steve Martin

Quote of The Day…..4/11*

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usDon’t have sex man. It leads to kissing and pretty soon you have to start talking to them.
Steve Martin

SMILE for a SUNDAY…..*

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On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules.

“The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”

He continued, “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?”

At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “How much for a season pass?”

Did something just happen????….*(*

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An elderly millionaire,feeling his oats, went to a popular Nevada bordello and told the madam that money was no object-he wanted the company of someone young and wild.

She looked him over and asked how old he was. “Ninety-three,” he replied.

“Oh, boy, Pops, you’ve had it,” said the madam with a snort.

“I have?” he said. “How much do I owe you?”

SMILE for the Day……….3/5 *(*

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He said to me . …. …… Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said . That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board
while I sit on the sofa and fart!

Smile of the Day………*

My darling husband,

Before you return from your business trip I just want to let you know about the small accident

I had with the pickup truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately it wasn’t too bad and

I really didn’t get hurt, so please don’t worry too much about me.

I was coming home from Wal-Mart, and when I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed

down on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pickup

fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your car.

I am really sorry, but I know with your kind-hearted personality you will forgive me. You know

how much I love you and care for you my sweetheart. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms

again.

Your loving wife.
XXX

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P.S. Your girlfriend called.

Thanks Kristi!

SMILE of The Night…….2/8-)*

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

5 MILES

Suddenly he begins to realize that these signs are for real and drives past third sign saying:

SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION

NEXT RIGHT

His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a stone building with a small sign next to the door reading:
SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS

He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit, who asks, “What may we do for you my son?”
He answers, “I saw your signs along the highway and was interested in possibly doing business.”

‘Very well my son. Please follow me.”
He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door and tells the man, “Please knock on this door.”

He does so and another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup answers the door. This nun instructs, “Please place $100 in the cup then go through the large wooden door at the end of the hallway.”

He puts $100 in the cup, eagerly trots down the hall and slips through the door pulling it shut behind him. The door locks, and he finds himself back in the parking lot facing another sign:

GO IN PEACE.

YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED

BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS.

SERVES YOU RIGHT,
YOU SINNER

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Thank you Kristi!