Night Night….Joke of the Night….1/8-)*

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Peek-A-Boo
A guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, “I’ve felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what’s wrong?”
The doctor replied, “Well, I can clearly see your nuts!”

Sleep tight Jokes for you tonight…………-)

Night Night…. Sleep Tight……..

Have lot’s of nice dreams……

Tomorrow will be a GREAT day!

Did you hear about the man who plugged his electric blanket into the toaster?
He kept popping out of bed all night!

Did you hear about the man who slept under an old tractor?
He wanted to wake up oily in the morning.

Did you hear about the parents who called their baby ‘Caffeine?’
It kept them awake all night!

Do elephants snore?
Only when they’re asleep.

****
Trouble sleeping
The woman seated herself in the psychiatrists office. “What seems to be the problem?” the doctor asked.

“Well, I, uh,” she stammered. “I think I, uh, might be a nymphomaniac.”

“I see,” he said. “I can help you, but I must advise you that my fee is $80 an hour.”

“That’s not bad,” she replied. “How much for all night?”

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AAADD…..No, it has nothing to do with AA or AAA….

Recently, I was diagnosed with A.A.A.D.D. What is it, you ask?I will tell you!

Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.

This is how it manifests:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway,

I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Pepsi I’d been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Pepsi aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.

The Pepsi is getting warm, and I decide to put it in the

refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye–they need water.

I put the Pepsi on the counter and discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote. Someone left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I’ll be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the
spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

The car isn’t washed

The bills aren’t paid

There is a warm can of Pepsi sitting on the counter

The flowers don’t have enough water,

There is still only 1 check in my check book,

I can’t find the remote,

I can’t find my glasses,
and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,

I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long,
and I’m really tired.
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Women Rule…….”Gonna be a Bear!”……..yeah!

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Live Well – Laugh Often – Love Much …..

Please do not forget your flu shot!!!!The First Half of this makes sense, but I like the second half better.

Make sure you get your daily dose of

fruits and veggies.

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Take your vitamins and bump up your vitamin C.

Get plenty of exercise because exercise helps build your immune system.Walk for at least an hour a day,go for a swim,take the stairs instead of the elevator, etc.

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Wash your hands often.
If you can’t wash them,
keep a bottle of antibacterial stuff around.
Get lots of fresh air.

Image Open doors & windows whenever possible.

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Try to eliminate as much stress
from your life as you can.

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Get plenty of rest.

OR ………..You can take the doctor’s approach to getting a flu shot……….
Think about it…
When you go for a shot,
what do they do first?
They Clean your arm with alcohol …
Why?
Because Alcohol KILLS GERMS.
So…….

I walk to the liquor store. (exercise)
I put lime in my Corona …(fruit)
Celery in my Bloody Mary (veggies)
Drink outdoors on the bar patio..(fresh air)
Tell jokes, laugh….(eliminate stress)
Then pass out. (rest)
The way I see it…

If you keep your alcohol levels up,
flu germs can’t get you!
I</p> <p>My  mother always said,<br /> 'A shot in the glass<br /> is better than  one in the ass!'<br /> <img src=
My mother always said,
‘A shot in the glass
is better than one in the ass!’

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