Night Night….Joke of the Night….1/8-)*

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Peek-A-Boo
A guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office covered only in Saran Wrap. He says to the doctor, “I’ve felt so weird lately, Doc, can you tell me what’s wrong?”
The doctor replied, “Well, I can clearly see your nuts!”

JOKE & CARTOON of the NIGHT………..12/8

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9 Types of Boyfriends

Joe Sensitive – “After I wash the dishes, let’s cuddle, OK?”
Also known as: Mr. Nice Guy, Family man, Honey, Darling, Soft-boiled Egg, Snugglepup
Advantages: Well-behaved; irons own shirts
Disadvantages: Irritatingly compassionate, wimpy

Old Man Grumpus – “People are stupid. The world can go to hell. Let’s stay home and watch TV.”
Also known as: Grumbles, Sour puss, Stick-in-the-mud, Old Fogey, Slow Mover, Jerk
Advantages: Stays put; predictable
Disadvantages: Royal pain in the butt

Flinchy – “I–I’m sorry for whatever it was I did.”
Also known as: Trembly, Creampuff, Hey you
Advantages: Jumps entertainingly when startled
Disadvantages: Easily spooked; surrenders without a struggle

Bigfoot – “Shut yer trap, I’m thinkin’.”
Also known as: Chunk-style, Lummox, Ignoramus, Galoot, the Hulk, Big ‘n’ Dumb
Advantages: Can tote bales; is easily fooled
Disadvantages: Can break you in half, sweats like a pig

Lazybones – “Zzzzzz”
Also known as: Lucky Dog, Parasite, Bum, Sponge, Snoozebucket, Drug Addict
Advantages: Well rested; easy target
Disadvantages: Unlikely to fulfill your dreams

The Sneak – “Who, me?”
Also known as: Love Pirate, Snake, Rat, Slime, Son of a Bitch
Advantages: May feel pangs of guilt
Disadvantages: May be having time of his life

Ace of Hearts – “After I wash the dishes, let’s make love like crazed weasels, OK?”
Also known as: The Sizzler, Handyman, Dreamboat, Casanova, Monster
Advantages: Perpetually aroused
Disadvantages: Perpetually aroused

The Dreamer – “Someday I’m going to be rich and famous. I don’t know how, but–”
Also known as: Struggling Artist, Philosopher, Buffoon, Bag of Wind
Advantages: Tells good stories
Disadvantages: Will turn into “Old Man Grumpus”

Mr. Right – “While the servants wash the dishes, let’s make love like crazed weasels in my new yacht, ok?”
Also known as: Mr. Perfect, Jim Dandy
Advantages: Answer to a woman’s prayer
Disadvantages: Hunted to extinction

Cartoon & Joke of the Night……………12/6

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Does Your Cat Own You?

See how many yes answers apply to you.

* Do you select your friends based on how well your cats like them?

* Does your desire to collect cats intensify during times of stress?

* Do you buy more than 50 pounds of cat litter a month?

* Do you think it’s cute when your cat swings on your drapes or licks your butter?

* Do you admit to non-cat owners how many cats you really have?

* Do you sleep in the same position all night because it annoys your cats when you move?

* Do you kiss your cat on the whiskers?

* Do you feed your cat tidbits from the table with your fork?

* Does your cat sleep on your head?
Do you like it?

* Do you have more than four opened but rejected cans of cat food in the refrigerator?

* Do you watch bad TV because the cat is sleeping on the remote?

* Will you stand at the open door indefinitely in the freezing rain while your cat sniffs the door, deciding whether to go out or come in?

* Would you rather spend a night at home with your cat than go out on a bad date?

* Do you put off making the bed until the cat gets up?

* Do you give your cat presents and a stocking at Christmas?

Joke…Blondes at Sea

Burial at Sea.

Bubbles and Barbie, two blonde sisters had promised their Uncle, who had been a seafaring gentleman all his life, to bury him at sea when he died. Of course, in due time, he did pass away and the two blondes kept their promise.

They set off from Clearwater Beach with their uncle all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowboat. After a while Bubbles
says, ‘Do you thi nk we’re out far enough, Barbie?’ Barbie slipped over the side and finding the water only knee deep said, ‘nope, not yet Bubbles’.
So they row a little farther…. Again Bubbles asks Barbie, ‘Do you think were out far enough now? Once again Barbie slips over the side and almost immediately says, ‘No, this will never do, the water is only up to my chest.
‘So on they row and row and row, and finally Barbie slips over the side and disappears. Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Bubbles is really getting worried when suddenly Barbie breaks the surface, gasping for breath she says,

‘OK, it’s finally deep enough. Hand me the shovel.’

Thanks to Kristi!

CHE DICI??????

If you go to YouTube under doraz, you can learn how to pronounce those Italian words I have been teaching ya. I had a lot of fun. A friend of mine suggested I do this. Hopefully I do not look too stupid!!! Have a great summer!

You can also hit the tab on my post that says ” My crazy videos.”

Thanks.

Doraz Says on YouTube…oh no!!!!!

Yes, that is correc!!!. Since you have been nice enough to visit DORAZ SAYS, I decided to go YouTube. So far I have: Doraz Says, Doraz says tiki, and Healthtips 101. So, keep a look out. I figure the more hits I get, the crazier I go!

Thanks….Thanks….Thanks…..