Will you smile?

An elderly couple was sitting together in a nursing home. Bored, the woman said to the man, “Say, I bet I can guess your age.” The man replied, “I’d like to see that.” She said, “Okay, then, but before I can guess, you’ll have to take your clothes off.” Curious, he stood up and took off his clothes. Then she said, “Now turn around a few times.” He shrugged and turned around a few times. She watched carefully, and then said, “You’re 87.” He was astonished. “That’s amazing! How did you know?” She said “You told me yesterday.”

May you have a BIG smile on that face and may you have a week that brings you many smiles.

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

I could not resist passing this one on. A friend sent it to me via email. lol Thanks Linda.

Health joke…PG-13 *

...  . A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet." He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?" Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her embarrassment and pulls back the covers. She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles gently in the other. She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine." The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly, "Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely: Are - my - test - results - back?"

Thanks to Beverly for sending me this…..

More laughs for you……

 Sticks & stones may break my bones, BUT chains & whips excite me!

 Autocorrect can kiss my ask..!!

 My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

 The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.

 If you blink your eyes really fast, it looks like there are strobe lights in the room. I have been having random parties throughout the day!

 I love in horror movies how the person yells out “hello?!” as if the killer is gonna say “yeah I’m n the kitchen, want a sandwich?”

. When butterflies are in love, do they feel human’s in their stomach?

Still laughing?

Have a great weekend.

I am heading for the mountains.

See you soon.

A Few Laughs…..

1. Don’t think of yourself as an ugly person, just a beautiful monkey 😛

2. Tips to reduce weight: First turn your head to the right, and then turn it to the left. Repeat the exercise every time you are offered something to eat.

3. At the end of the day, one thing we have in common is that we are all screwed up in some way.

4. I found a lipstick that helps you lose weight…..it’s called super glue.

5. The awkward moment when a GPS tells a gay person to go straight :)6. TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!

7. Two roommates were watching the news. News: Serial killer on the loose. Blonde: Oh no! (runs to kitchen) Brunette: What are you doing? Blonde: Saving my cereal!

8. Wife standing in front of a mirror and telling to her husband, “I am fat, old, wrinkled and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment?” Husband replied, “Your eyesight is still excellent.”

9. One student fell into a cycle of classes, studying, working and sleeping. Didn’t realize how long he had neglected writing home until he received the following note: “Dear Son, Your mother and I enjoyed your last letter. Of course, we were much younger then, and more impressionable. Love, Dad.”

10. What is meant by Mixed Emotions? Your enemy falls from 17th floor on your brand new Audi and you don’t know whether to laugh or cry!

Hope you had a few laughs.

Have a fun day.