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Poor Randy….a joke

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster – one that could service all of his many hens and when he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied: “I have just the rooster for you. Randy here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!” 

So the farmer took Randy back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the henhouse, though, he gave Randy a little pep talk. “Randy”, he said, “I’m counting on you to do your stuff.” And without a word, Randy strutted into the henhouse and set to work. 

Randy was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, till Randy had finished having his way with each hen. But Randy didn’t stop there, he went in to the barn and mounted all the horses, one by one and still at the same frantic pace. Then he went to the pighouse, where he did the same. The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief, cried out, “Stop, Randy, you’ll kill yourself!” But Randy continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner. 

Well, the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Randy lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A buzzard was already circling above Randy. 

The farmer walked up to Randy saying, “Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you’ve gone and killed yourself. I warned you, my little buddy.” 

“Shhhhh,” Randy whispered, “The buzzard’s getting closer.”

Have a SMILE on your face ?

Have a GREAT week!

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Ladies Night Out…..joke

Last night, my friends and I went to a Ladies Night Club. One of the girls wanted to impress the rest of us, so she pulled out a $10 bill. When the male dancer came over to us, my friend licked the $10 bill and stuck it to his butt cheek!

Not to be outdone, another friend pulls out a $20 bill. She called the guy back, licks the $20 bill, and sticks it to his other butt cheek. In another attempt to impress the rest of us, my third friend pulls out a $50 bill and calls the guy over, and licks the $50 bill. I’m worried about the way things are going, but fortunately, she just stuck it to one of his butt cheeks again. My relief was short-lived.

Seeing the way things are going, the guy gyrates over to me!!! Now everyone’s attention is focused on me, and the guy is egging me on to try to top the $50. My brain was churning as I reached for my wallet. What could I do????

The woman in me took over! I got out my ATM card, swiped it down the crack of his butt, grabbed the eighty bucks, and went home.

Laugh in Life…....