1. Never buy a ‘new’ brand of beer because ‘it was on sale.’
2. If we’re in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn’t mean we’re not watching it.
3. Don’t tell anyone we can’t afford a new car. Tell them we don’t want one.
4. Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during commercials.
5. Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.
6. Please don’t drive when you’re not driving.
7. Don’t feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories are related to one another: We’re just nodding, waiting for the punchline.
8. The quarterback who just got pummeled isn’t trying to be brave. He’s just not crying. Big difference!
9. When the waiter asks if everything’s okay, a simple ‘Yes’ is fine.
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