CARTOON & JOKE of the Day…..12/24 -)*

As an elderly lady sat on her front porch reflecting on her long life, a Fairy Godmother suddenly appeared and offered to fulfill three wishes for her.

“Well,” said the woman, “I guess I’d like to be rich.”
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned her rocking chair into solid gold.

“And I wouldn’t mind being a young and beautiful princess.”
POOF: The Fairy Godmother turned the old woman into an exquisite young princess, with a priceless crown of jewels.

“Your third wish?” asked the Fairy Godmother. “Could you possibly turn my wonderful dog into a handsome prince?”
POOF: There, in front stood the most handsome young man anyone had ever seen. She stared at him in awe, completely smitten.

As he came toward her, her knees weakened. He bent down, brushing his lips across her ear as he whispered, “I bet you are sorry you had me neutered.”

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Cartoon & Joke of the Day…12/23-)*

Christmas Presents

Here are ten useful phrases for responding to Christmas presented you would rather not have received:

1. Thanks a lot!
2. My word! What a gift.
3. Well, well, well …
4. If I hadn’t put on so much weight recently it would have fitted me perfectly.
5. Gosh, I hope I never lose this. We’re always losing things around here.
6. It’s great; but I’m worried about the jealousy it may create.
7. Just my luck to get this, on the Christmas I promised to give all my gifts to charity.
8. Unfortunately, I am about to enter MI5’s Witness Protection programme.
9. Frankly, I don’t deserve this.
10. Really, you shouldn’t have.

JOKES ………..-)*

* T he 3 stages of man:

He believes in Santa Claus.

He doesn’t believe in Santa Claus.

He is Santa Claus.

* A man went to his psychiatrist and said…

“What’s wrong with me? I’m afraid of Santa.”

The psychiatrist said…

“You must be Claustrofobic.”

Why does Santa’s sleigh get such good mileage?
Because it has long-distance runners on each side!

What goes Ho, Ho, Swoosh! Ho, Ho, Swoosh?
Santa caught in a revolving door!

What kind of motorcycle does Santy ride?
A “Holly” Davidson!