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    Doraz on No regrets maybe??????
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No regrets maybe??????

live your life

Always do the best that you are capable of doing, or else one day you will have many regrets!

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

CARDIAC CATHETERIZATION for my BROTHER with an UPDATE*

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For those of you who followed the medical needs of my brother, we finally have a possible solution to help aid in his full recovery. He is having a procedure on Thursday. It appears that the lower right/left of his heart is blocked and he is not getting the right amount of blood to his body. They will insert a stent to prolong both the procedure itself as well as the post-catheterization time spent in allowing the wound to clot. I looked this up on
Wikipedia. As long as he does not have bleeding after the procedure, he should be able to start his recovery over this mess! Please keep my brother in your prayers.

Thanks,

Luisa

UPDATE…………

The procedure for my brother went well. They did not have to do a by pass. They did not put in a stent. He is going to be put on new medication and monitored. He had no blood clots. His arteries were fine, for now. Later on, he may require more treatment. He is to lose weight and watch his diet. He is to exercise and stay out of the hot sun . He is still operating on a heart at 20%, but that is the best they can do for now. Thank you for your support. I REALLY appreciate it. It has helped me a lot!

Quote of the Day…4/30*

Embarrassing Medical Exams

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1. A man comes into the ER and yells ‘My wife’s going to have her baby in the cab.’

I grabbed my stuff, rushed out to the cab, lifted the lady’s dress and began to take off her underwear.
Suddenly I noticed that there were several cabs – – – and I was in the wrong one.
Submitted by Dr. Mark MacDonald, San Francisco

2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient’s anterior chest wall.

‘Big breaths,’. . . I instructed.

‘Yes, they used to be,’. . ..replied the patient.

Submitted by Dr. Richard Byrnes, Seattle , WA

3. One day I had to be the bearer of bad news when I told a wife that her husband had died of a massive myocardial infarct.

Not more than five minutes later, I heard her reporting to the rest of the family that he had died of a ‘massive internal fart.’ Submitted by Dr. Susan Steinberg

4. During a patient’s two week follow-up appointment with his cardiologist, he informed me, his doctor, that he was having trouble with one of his medications.

‘ Which one ?’. . . I asked. ‘The patch…

‘The Nurse told me to put on a new one every six hours and now I’m running out of places to put it!’

I had him quickly undress and discovered what I hoped I wouldn’t see.

Yes, the man had over fifty patches on his body!

Now, the instructions included removal of the old patch before applying a new one.

Submitted b y Dr. Rebecca St. Clair, Norfolk , VA

5. While acquainting myself with a new elderly patient, I asked, ‘How long have you been bedridden?’

After a look of complete confusion she answered . . ..

‘ Why, not for about twenty years – when my husband was alive.’

Submitted by Dr. Steven Swanson- Corvallis , OR

6. I was performing rounds at the hospital one morning and while checking up on a man I asked . . .’ So how’s your breakfast this morning?’

‘ It’s very good except for the Kentucky Jelly. I can’t seem to get used to the taste.’. . . Bob replied.

I then asked to see the jelly and Bob produced a foil packet labeled ‘KY Jelly.’

Submitted by Dr. Leonard Kransdorf, Detroit

7. A nurse was on duty in the Emergency Room when a young woman with purple hair styled into a punk rocker Mohawk, sporting a variety of tattoos, and wearing strange clothing, entered . .

It was quickly determined that the patient had acute apendicitis, so she was scheduled for immediate surgery. When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff noticed that her pubic hair had been dyed green and above it there was a tattoo that read .. . .’ Keep off the grass.’

Once the surgery was completed, the surgeon wrote a short note on the patient’s dressing, which said ‘Sorry . . . had to mow the lawn.’

Submitted by RN no name

AND FINALLY!! ! … . . . . .. . . . . .

8.. As a new, young MD doing his residency in OB.

I was quite embarrassed when performing female pelvic exams… To cover my embarrassment I had unconsciously formed a habit of whistling softly.

The middle-aged lady upon whom I was performing this exam suddenly burst out laughing and further embarrassing me.

I looked up from my work and sheepishly said’I’m sorry. Was I tickling you?’

She replied with tears running down her cheeks from laughing so hard . . …

‘ No doctor, but the song you were whistling was … . .’I wish I was an Oscar Meyer Wiener.’

Dr. wouldn’t submit his name…

Thanks to Pam!

Something to Smile Over……….*)*

A list of the worst possible things to hear before, during, or after a rectal exam.

1. Somebody’s been working out.
2. Before we start I should tell you, I have enormous hands.
3. God, my fingers feel like icicles.
4. Oh man, it’s a little late now, but I’m out of clean gloves. Don’t worry, the guy before you was clean as a whistle.
5. Was I wearing my ring before the exam?
6. Ooo … me likey!
7. Oh crap, I broke a nail.
8. Look man, no hands!
9. Dude, you’re like the world’s biggest ventriloquist’s dummy right now.
10. Hey man, I don’t know what it was and I know this is wrong but… what are you doing after this? I can move some appointments around and- hey! Where are you going? Don’t you walk away from me! We were magical! I know where you live!
11. Wow, that’s the smoothest whatever-the-hell-that-is I’ve ever felt.
12. I don’t want you to panic or anything… but I’m stuck.
13. Yahtzee!
14. You know I’m not a real doctor, right?

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Just Thought I’d Ask You This Question……1/23-)*

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What is the first memory that comes to mind that makes you SMILE right away?

Just Thought I’d Ask You This Question…..1/22-)*

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How safe do you think getting a X-ray really is?
(Take a look at this!)

Joke of the Night…. For a Quick Laugh-)**

Answered Prayers
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to
express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to
the
podium.
She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had
a
terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The
pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could
help
him.”
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation
as
they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and
every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors
performed
a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece
together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire
around it to
hold it in place.”
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed
uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on
Tom.
“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “thank the Lord, Tom
is
out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his
scrotum
should recover completely.”
All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively
asked if  anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, “I’m Tom.”
The entire congregation held its breath.
“I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”

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