Smiles are contagious

I have been really busy writing away as a Master Editor for my friends at Everipedia.com. Have you created your page yet? What are you waiting for? Come on over! If you want a page, just ask! 🙂

Believe in Yourself;
Luisa Doraz

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Weekend Funnies

Did you hear about the constipated accountant?

He couldn’t budget.

*****

A little boy is walking down the country road one day when he comes across a man who has a truck load of cow manure.

The boy asks him what he’s going to do with all that cow poop.

The man says, “I’m taking it home to put on my strawberries.”

The little boy looks up at the man and says, “I don’t know where you come from, but where I come from we put cream and sugar on our strawberries.”

*****

A man was sitting at a bar one day when a pirate walked in. The pirate had a wooden leg, a hook for one hand, and a patch over one eye.

Feeling sorry for the pirate, the man said, “Come over here, my friend. You look as though you’ve had a tough life and I’d like to buy you a drink.”

The pirate gladly went over to the man who ordered him a rum.

Then the man asked the pirate, “I’m curious, how did you lose your leg?”

“Arrrgh!” said the pirate, “I lost that timber to a tiger shark in the Caribbean when I was thrown overboard for stealing a man’s rum.”

“Wow, that’s awful!” said the man. “And tell me, how did you lose your hand?”

“Arrrgh!” replied the pirate, “I lost that fighting cannibals on a treasure island.”

“Oh my word!” the man said, “How awful! And tell me, how did you lose your eye?”

The pirate said, “Arrrgh! A seagull pooped in it!”

“A seagull!” The man was surprised. He asked, “Is seagull poop dangerous?!”

The pirate said, “Nay, matey, it was me first day with the hook.”

*****

People say love is the best feeling ever.

But I think finding a toilet when you’re having diarrhea is better.

*****

I went into a public toilet for a poop the other day. I’d just sat down when I heard a voice from the next cubicle say, “Hi, how are you?”

I was a little embarrassed but I replied, “I’m fine thanks.”

Then the voice asked, “So what are you up to?”

I replied, “Just doing the same as you, sitting here.”

Then the voice asked, “Can I come over?”

Annoyed, I said, “Actually, I’m a little busy right now.”

The voice then said, “Listen, I’ll have to call you back, there’s an idiot next door who keeps answering all my questions.”

Luck of the Irish

I have been really busy writing away as a Master Editor for my friends at Everipedia.com.

 

I just wanted to take a moment to stop by and wish you all a very happy and lucky St. Patrick’s Day! I hope you have all checked into all of the fun local activities in your area to go join in on. I sure have a few ideas. I also posted a few at
Everipedia.com.

May your days be full of many smiles.
May your hearts be blessed with much love.
May all of your dreams become a reality.
May you all enjoy the many blessings of this world.
Keep Smiling.

Believe in Yourself;
Luisa Doraz

GIRLS DON’T POOP….funny video!

This is such a funny video I was sent! I want to share it with you all! Have a GREAT weekend!

Digital footprins with EVERIPEDIA*

I am learning a bit about one’s digital footprints. I never even heard of this before I started doing computer classes. Digital footprints of a person means:

“There are two main classifications for digital footprints: passive and active. A passive digital footprint is created when data is collected without the owner knowing, whereas active digital footprints are created when personal data is released deliberately by a user for the purpose of sharing information about oneself by means of websites or social media.^[1]”

Well, I found a site that started using and would like to share it with you all. I wrote a little something for it. Enjoy and have fun stepping out! Introducing EVERIPEDIA
:

Everyone’s Encyclopedia!

Very good choice for centralizing and sorting people’s digital footprints.

Everyone’s information will be easily accessible for you.

Readily allows users to up and downvote the links associated with people’s pages and only the interesting ones will prevail!

Internet searches you make with EVERIPEDIA
will change the way you do your research and fact finding.

People you follow on facebook and twitter will have a different perceptive to you. Imagine what you will find out about them!

Enjoy reading all of the interesting facts you will have access to!

Do your research. Get started!

Intelligent choices for you to make when you are searching for information on a certain subject you are interested in.

All you have to do to use LINKSEARCH  and take the link to that person’s profile or that news article you are reading, and then PASTE it on the search bar. This will bring up for you all of the remaining part of their footprint.

I hope you all have as much fun as I do on EVERIPEDIA
. It sure makes doing homework easier!

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

 

 

 

A Woman’s Fairy Tale

I had to share this that a friend spent to me…too funny!

Once upon a time, in a land far away, A beautiful, independent, self assured princess, happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog hopped into the Princess’ lap and said: ” Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so.” That night, on a repast of lightly sauteed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: I don’t think so honey!

GOLFING FUN*

A man staggers into an emergency room with a concussion, multiple bruises, two black eyes and a five iron wrapped tightly around his throat.

Naturally,the doctor asks him what happened.

“Well, it was like this,” said the man. “I was having a quiet round of golf with my wife, when at a difficult hole, we both sliced our balls into a pasture of cows.”

“We went to look for them, and while I was rooting around noticed one of the cows had something white at its rear end. I walked over and lifted up the tail, and sure enough, there was a golf ball with my wife’s monogram on it– stuck right in the middle of the cow’s butt.”

“That’s when I made my big mistake.”

“What did you do?” asks the doctor.

“Well, I lifted the cow’s tail again and yelled to my wife, Hey, this looks like yours!”

“I don’t remember much after that”!

LAUGH! HAVE FUN IN LIFE! SMILE!

Believe in Yourself

There are many things in this life that can upset you. There are also many things in this life that can make you smile. Do your best to feel blessed with all you have. Do your best to make your life the way you want it. Do your best to realize that things should not be taken for granted. Reach out. There are those who will ignore you. There are many who will embrace you. Hold on to your faith and your hopes.

Believe in Yourself;
Luisa Doraz

Wanna Laugh with me?

“Once upon a time Dracula decided to carry some sort of a competition to see which is the finest bat to stand on his side. So all the bats were honored to take part. The rules were simple. Whichever bat drinks more blood, will be the winner? So the first bat goes and comes back after 10 minutes. Her mouth was full of blood. Dracula says: “Congratulations, how did you do that?” The bat said: “Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a house. I went in and sucked the blood of all the family”. “Very good” said Dracula. The second bat goes and comes back after 5 minutes all her face covered in blood. Dracula astonished says, “How did you do that?” The bat replies ” Do you see that tower? Behind it there is a school. I went in and drunk the blood of all the children”. “Impressive” said Dracula. Now the third bat goes and comes back after three minutes literally covered in blood from top to toe. Dracula is stunned. “How on earth did you do that????” he asked. And the bat replies. “Do you see this tower?” Dracula replies with a yes. And the bat says “Well, I didn’t”.”

You smiling???

PS…..I did not add these links.

Weekend humor…be sure to smile……..

An elderly man moved into a nursing home. After he’d been there a few days, a nurse noticed him leaning to the right, and strapped his left arm to the chair. A few days later, she noticed him leaning to the left, and strapped his right arm to the chair. Not long after that, she noticed him leaning forward in his chair, so she strapped him to the back of the chair. His daughter came to visit him. “How do you like this place?” she asked him. “It’s not bad,” he replied, “except they won’t let me fart.”

****

A man goes up to heaven and says, “Hey, God. What’s a million years like for you?” And God says, “Oh, you know, like maybe a second.” So the man says, “Oh, wow. Well, then, how about this: What’s a million dollars worth to you?” And God says, “Oh, like, you know, about a penny.” So the man says, “Oh, wow. Well, in that case, can I have a million dollars?” And God says, “Sure, in a second.”

****

An atheist was spending a quiet day fishing when suddenly his boat was attacked by the Loch Ness monster. In one easy flip, the beast tossed him and his boat high into the air. Then it opened its mouth to swallow both. As the man sailed head over heels, he cried out, “Oh, God! Help me!”

As the atheist spun helplessly through the air, a booming voice came down from the clouds, “I thought you didn’t believe in Me?”

“Give me a break!” the man pleaded. “Two minutes ago I didn’t believe in the Loch Ness monster, either!”