“GIVING THE BIRD”….STORY*

I never knew this before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn’t history more fun when you know something about it?
Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as ‘plucking the yew’ (or ‘pluck yew’).
Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since ‘pluck yew’ is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F’, and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as ‘giving the bird.’
And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing

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Thought you might like this, too…….-)*

I RAN THIS ON LAUGHWITHDORAZ AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN IT ALSO.

SCHOOL — 1960 vs. 2008

Scenario 1:

Jack goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck’s gun rack.

1960 – Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.

2008 – School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1960 – Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2008 – Police called and SWAT team arrives — they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged them with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1960 – Jeffrey sent to the Principal’s office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2008 – Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1960 – Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman.

2008 – Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1960 – Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2008 – The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6:

Pedro fails high school English.

1960 – Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2008 – Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7:

Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1960 – Ants die.

2008 – ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents — and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny’s dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8:

Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1960 – In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.

2008 – Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Proof That The World Is Nuts………….

In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.

(Like THAT makes sense.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman’s genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror.

(Do they look different reversed?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers. The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times.

(A brick?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.

(Much worse than ‘going blind!’)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time
Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.

(Let’s just think for a minute; is there

any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands.
The husband’s illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.

(Ah! Justice!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England – but only in tropical fish stores.

(But of course!)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.

(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.

(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only ‘in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises.’

(Is this a great country or what?

Well, not as great as Guam !)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.

(Who volunteers for these tests?)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

(From drinking little bottles of???)

(Did our government pay for this research??)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Butterflies taste with their feet.

(Ah, geez.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.

(I know some people like that.)
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Starfish don’t have brains.

(I know some people like that, too.)
*~*~ *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

And, the best for last?

Turtles can breathe through their butts.

(And I thought I had bad breath in the morning!)

Kristi, you out did yourself on this one!

Do You Know the Symbols of Christmas?………….for Children, Young & Old!

The Legend of the First Christmas Tree

The night of the Saviour’s birth, all the living creatures, both flora and fauna, came to Bethlehem with gifts. The olive tree brought its fruit and the palm its dates. But the little fir tree had no gift and was so tired it couldn’t resist when the big trees pushed it into the background and hid it from view. But then a nearby angel took pity and commanded a cluster of stars to come and rest on its delicate boughs. When the Baby Jesus beheld this lovely lighted tree, He smiled and blessed it, declaring henceforth that fir trees should always be filled with lights at Christmastime to please little children.

The true meaning of Christmas…

* The Star: A heavenly signs of prophecy fulfilled long, long ago- The shining hope of mankind. * The Color Red: The first color of Christmas, symbolizing that Savior’s sacrifice for all. * The Fir Tree: Evergreen- the second color of Christmas shows everlasting light and life. The needles point up to heaven. * The Bell: Rings out to guide lost sheep back to the fold, signifying that all are precious in His eyes. * The Candle: A mirror of starlight, reflecting our thanks for the star of Bethlehem. * The Gift Bow: Tied as we should all be tied together in bonds of goodwill forever. * The Candy Cane: Represents the shape of the shepherd’s crook, used to bring lost lambs back to the fold. * The Wreath: A symbol of the never ending eternal value of love…having no end.

Paul Smith typewriter art…beautiful!

Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born in Philadelphia on September 21, 1921 with severe cerebral palsy

This great man passed away on June 25, 2007, but left behind a collection of his amazing artwork that will be an inspiration for many.

Typewriter Art

Can you believe that this art was created using a typewriter?

5 More …Typewriter Art created by Paul Smith ………amazing!

More Typewriter Art by Paul Smith..got to see this..amazing!

Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born in Philadelphia on September 21, 1921 with severe cerebral palsy

This great man passed away on June 25, 2007, but left behind a collection of his amazing artwork that will be an inspiration for many.

Typewriter Art

Can you believe that this art was created using a typewriter?

@ # $ % ^ & * ( )In other words, his pictures werebased on these characters ….

Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born in Philadelphia on September 21, 1921 with severe cerebral palsy

This great man passed away on June 25, 2007, but left behind a collection of his amazing artwork that will be an inspiration for many.

Typewriter Art

Can you believe that this art was created using a typewriter?

Typewriter Art…This is beyond words and wonderment..will post more daily…stay tuned….

Paul Smith, the man with extraordinary talent was born in Philadelphia on September 21, 1921 with severe cerebral palsy.Not only had Paul beaten the odds of a life with spastic cerebral palsy, a disability that impeded his speech & mobility but alsotaught himself to become a master artist as well as a terrific chess player even after being devoid of a formal education as a child.‘When typing, Paul used his left hand to steady his right one. Since he couldn’t press two keys at the same time, he almost alwayslocked the shift key down and made his pictures using the symbols at the top of the number keys. In other words, his pictures werebased on these characters …. @ # $ % ^ & * ( ) _ .Across seven decades, Paul created hundreds of pictures. He often gave the originals away. Sometimes, but not always, he kept orreceived a copy for his own records. As his mastery of the typewriter grew, he developed techniques to create shadings, colors, and textures that made his work resemblepencil or charcoal drawings.’This great man passed away on June 25, 2007, but left behind a collection of his amazing artwork that will be an inspiration for many.

Typewriter Art

Can you believe that this art was created using a typewriter?