Laugh vith Doraz….A Womans Story*

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?….What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer..

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur’s question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered….is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him… The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day….or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch ? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT…..make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now….what is the moral to this story?

*****

The moral is….
If you don’t let a woman have her own way….
Things are going to get ugly

Getting Old…..

I don’t know about you all, but I am getting SO TIRED of all the nasty attitudes people are showing because of this election. One of my friends shared these with me. I needed to laugh. Hope if you are in the same place..these help!

…….VOTE…….

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.
She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’?
And that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, ‘How old was your husband?’
’98,’ she replied: ‘Two years older than me’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter
asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

I’ve sure gotten old!
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought
prostate cancer and diabetes I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter
than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy,
winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and
feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s
license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s
permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted,
gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour..
But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had
two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes
scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed. ‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week’.

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, ‘For fast
relief.’

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good
fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now, I think you’re supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others.
Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they
are!

Always REMEMBER this:
You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; You grow old because you stop
laughing…

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still
fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

What has got you going today?????

“Our task must be to free ourselves by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty.”
Albert Einstein

LUISA_WITHOUT_HAT

I decided to have the world see me without my cap on. lol My blogging friend, Lviss seems to believe I sleep in my hat. lol I just got a hairdut. I like it. What do you guys think? I have been busy running around. Doing what..I have no idea! lol I have been going to parties. That is a good thing. I have been grocery shopping. That is a good thing. I have been getting little sleep. That is a bad thing!! lol A girl has got to have her beauty sleep, right? Those bags under the eyes seem to reappear toooo often! lol I seem to be laughing a lot today. Could it be the 5 cups of coffee I have had??? lol See, I did it again. I love to laugh. I love to smile. I love to see what there is to see in this crazy world of ours. Then, I like to talk to you all about it. Aren’t you just thrilled?? lol Oh well, get back to what you have been doing now. Enough messing around here at my blog. I am sure you have better things to do. If not, well..what can I say??? lol

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

TECHNOLOGY…LAUGH with DORAZ*

This will explain why “Old-timers” have so much trouble with computers.

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Thanks KRISTI KEYPERS

YOU DID WHAT?

>
WHAT WAS THE STRANGEST DREAM YOU HAD, AND WHY DO YOU THINK YOU HAD IT?

Where is that Bird Brain?……..

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Scooter:…..”How long does that Bird Brain think I can stay up here without all my comforts of home? Where is that cat, anyway? Best I get out of here, QUICK!”

Joke of the Day……..-)*

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CAR ACCIDENT JOKE
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident.

It’s a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.

After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, “So you’re a man,that’s interesting. I’m a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt.

This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days.”

The man replied,” I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!

The woman continued, “And look at this, here’s another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn’t break! Sure God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune.”

The she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle, and then hands it back to the woman.

The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.

The man asks “Aren’t you having any?”

The woman replies, “No. I think I’ll just wait for the police.”

“GET SMART,” movie review……..

The movie,”:Get Smart” was actually funny. I figured it would be one of those stupid kind of funny movies, but it was ok. The adventure and suspense were convincing. The acting was good. It made you think of the old Get Smart series. It showed a side of people that was impressive. It had funny one liners. Adance scene at a party was hilarious and right on! Some of the action parts were ridiculous, but funny and entertaining. I think it is worth watching. Steve Carell and Anne Hathaway pulled it off! I liked the part that Dwayne Johnson played. He was right on!

Cat lovers delight…..

“I’ve learned….That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.”

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# What is a cat’s favourite movie? “The Sound of Mewsic.”
# What does a cat that lives near the beach have in common with Christmas? Sandy Claws.
# Where is one place that your cat can sit, but you can’t? Your lap.
# Why did the cat put oil on the mouse? Because it squeaked.
# What side of the cat has the most fur? The OUT-side.
# What is a cat’s favourite car? The Catillac.
# What kind of cat will keep your grass short? A Lawn Meower.
# Why did the judge dismiss the entire jury made up of cats? Because each of them was guilty of purrjury.
# What do you use to comb a cat? A catacomb.
# Why did the cat run from the tree? Because it was afraid of the bark!
# Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide? Because he’s always spotted.

Funny….Smile…Time to Laugh….

One Halloween this woman opens her door to find the most adorable little girl, with golden blond curly hair and the biggest blue eyes.
She was dressed as an Angel, and was just delightful. The woman said, “what are you supposed to say sweetheart?”
The little girl looks up at the woman and says “Twick or Tweat!”
The woman thinks this is just adorable, and she calls her husband to come to the door. The woman say to the child, “Go ahead honey say it just one more time.”
Once again the little Angel looks up and says, “Twick or Tweat!”
The husband agrees with his wife, this little Angel is just the cutest thing. The woman picks an apple from the Treat Bowl, shines it up with her apron, and drops it into the little girl’s Treat Bag.

The little Angel looks in her bag then looks up at the woman and says, “Thanks a lot lady, you just broke my f**king cookies!”