Universal Truths…LAUGH with DORAZ*

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1. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you
realize you’re wrong.

2. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was
younger.

3. There is great need for a sarcasm font

4. How the heck are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

5. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on #5. I’m pretty
sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

6. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
person died.

7. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

8. Bad decisions make good stories.

9. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for
the rest of the day.

10. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I
don’t want to have to restart my collection..again.

11. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Darn
it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and
goes to voicemail. What did you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone
and run away?

12. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or
Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay

13. Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it

14. I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand
than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

15. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to
finish a text.

16. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and
hunger.

17. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod
and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

18. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up
to prevent someone from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers
and sisters

19. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every
year?

20. There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are
going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

21. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car
keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the
Donkey – but I’d bet my behind everyone can find and push the snooze
button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first
time, every time!

CONTRIBUTED by:KRISTI KEYPERS

FROGGY DAY…LAUGH with DORAZ*

Why did the frog walk across the road?
He didn’t… he jumped.
Why did the frog cross the street?
because the chicken crossed the road.
Why did the frog cross the road?
to see what the chicken was doing.
Why did the frog cross the road?
Some mean little kid super-glued it to the chicken.
Why did the frog stop in the middle of the road?
To get hit by a steamroller
Why did the frog stay in the middle of the road?
He ran after a fly and was hit by a car.
Why did the frog cross the road?
If a chicken can do it so could he!

A librarian was quietly working when three chickens walked in and jumped on to the counter eyed her and said “BUK BUK BUK” Not sure she was sane she gave the chikens three books and they left. An hour later in walked the chickens again jumped onto the counter, returned the books they had taken earlier and said “BUK BUK BUK” Now convinced she was out of her mind she gave them three books, they took one each and left. This time she decided to follow them. She followed them down to the local pond and stood horrified as they threw the books into the water. All of a sudden they flew back out of the pond and a frog stuck it’s head up saying “RREDIT RREDIT RREDIT!”

Thanks to Pam W. for these.

HAVE A SILLY WEDNESDAY ACTING LIKE A FROG…….