Something to Smile Over……….*)*

A list of the worst possible things to hear before, during, or after a rectal exam.

1. Somebody’s been working out.
2. Before we start I should tell you, I have enormous hands.
3. God, my fingers feel like icicles.
4. Oh man, it’s a little late now, but I’m out of clean gloves. Don’t worry, the guy before you was clean as a whistle.
5. Was I wearing my ring before the exam?
6. Ooo … me likey!
7. Oh crap, I broke a nail.
8. Look man, no hands!
9. Dude, you’re like the world’s biggest ventriloquist’s dummy right now.
10. Hey man, I don’t know what it was and I know this is wrong but… what are you doing after this? I can move some appointments around and- hey! Where are you going? Don’t you walk away from me! We were magical! I know where you live!
11. Wow, that’s the smoothest whatever-the-hell-that-is I’ve ever felt.
12. I don’t want you to panic or anything… but I’m stuck.
13. Yahtzee!
14. You know I’m not a real doctor, right?

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