A Women’s Poem about her man!….LOL

He didn’t like my casserole
And he didn’t like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard….
Not like his mother used to make.
I didn’t perk the coffee right
He did not like the stew,
I didn’t mend his socks
The way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around
and smacked the s**t out of him…
Like his mother used to do.

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Ouch, that hurt!……….this joke sizzles…..

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style.

“If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.”

“Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener.”

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
— Socrates
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’
— Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
— Mark Twain

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury
— Groucho Marx

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE..too easy…too good!

4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
a small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mugAdd dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. Add the egg and mix thoroughly.
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don’t be alarmed!
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.
EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel slightly more virtuous).

 

And why is this the most dangerous cake recipe in the world?
Because now we are all only 5 minutes away from chocolate cake at any time of the day or night!

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Chocolate Pudding in a Mug
Serves 1

In the early days of microwave ovens, a recipe like this was always part of the demonstrations given by manufacturers’ home economists. It proved how fast and how much fun the microwave could be. It still does.
1 tablespoon cornstarch

2 tablespoons cocoa powder

2 tablespoons sugar

3/4 cup milk

1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. In a large mug (at least 12 ounces), dissolve the cornstarch, cocoa, and sugar in the milk.

2. Microwave on high for 90 seconds, or until mixture boils.

3. Stir in the vanilla extract.

4. Chill in the refrigerator at least 1 hour.

Substitutions: Instead of cocoa, use 3 tablespoons chocolate bits. Stir them into the hot pudding with the vanilla. Instead of vanilla, use orange zest, grated or very finely julienned.

Idea from my friends. Let me know if any good! Will also try it.

You have KRISTI to thank for this one!

It’s great for your health to SMILE……..

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I have read that there are lots of health benefits to smiling. When you smile you send happy thoughts to your brain, which in turn sends happy messages throughout your body. I would rather have happy stuff going through my body instead of nasty stuff, won’t you? So, remember…whenever you have a choice…SMILE.

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Be conscious of your appearance….cat in a fish bowl?

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I have yet to meet a man as
fond of high moral conduct as
he is of outward appearances
Confucius

Animated Cats with rhythm…….

Phase 1
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You are listening to jazz — Your first day at work is great. Your coworkers are wonderful, your cubicle is cute, and your boss is the best!

Phase 2
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You are listening to pop music — After a while you are so busy that you are not sure if you’re coming or going anymore.

Phase 3
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You are listening to heavy metal — This is what you feel like at month end.

Phase 4
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You are listening to hip hop — You become bloated due to stress, feel sluggish and suffer from constipation. Your coworkers are too cheerful for your liking and the walls of your cubicle are closing in. You have started thinking ‘WHATEVER’ about your boss.

Phase 5

You are listening to GANGSTA RAP — After more time passes, your eyes start to twitch, you forget what a ‘good hair day’ feels like as you just fall out of bed and load up on caffeine.

Phase 6
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You are listening to the voices in your head — You have build a makeshift door on your cubicle to keep people out, You have a dartboard with your bosses picture on it in your cube, You wonder why you are even here in the first place.

THANKS IRENE………

You’ll “SMILE” at this one………..

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Believe in Yourself,

Luisa Doraz

Here’s a JOKE you haven’t heard!

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Yeh, so what’s the problem.huh?

If your depressed or not feeling great…check this blog OR..Can someone give me a good reason why I shouldn’t delete this blog? I have had it for a while and do not really feel that it is very popular with people. I mean, what exactly do people like to read these days? I try to do different things with this blog. Sometimes I think people ARE interested because I look at my stats, and other times ,when I think I have really good stuff, no one is out there! Maybe I need to get real. Help me out here! I do appreciate all the comments I have received. The comments help encourage me!

Pick a Man or a Woman?

If I had a choice, would I rather be a woman or a man? Right now I am a woman and I am comfortable with this gender. If I got to change it for a day, would I? I think I would like to. Reason is, I want to see what a guy has to go through each day. We THINK we know what a guy must experience, but we do not REALLY know. I would love to just see all the stuff they have to put up with each day from other people. It could be the reactions they get from friends, family, co-workers, strangers, and who ever else they run into…that would interest me. I think a man should also do the same and REALLY get to understand what us woman have to put up with! Anyone agree?

 

Smile….Laugh….Experience Life!