An Extra Effort ……..LAUGH with DORAZ*

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I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 a.m.I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to spare.As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort.So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in “that area” to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

 

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away. I was a little surprised when the doctor said, “My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I didn’t respond.

After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home. The rest of the day was normal… some shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc. After school when my six year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, “Mommy, where’s my washcloth?”

I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, “No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it.”

Just Thought I’d Ask You This Question…4/26*

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How often do you visit your doctor for a ROUTINE PHYSICAL EXAM?

Ear Infection…………Right??? *(*

This is so true! They always ask at the doctor’s office why you are there, and you have to answer in front of others what’s wrong — and sometimes it is embarrassing.

There’s nothing worse than a doctor’s receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients. I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it:

A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.

The receptionist said, “Yes, sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?”

He replied, “There’s something wrong with my pecker.”

The receptionist became irritated and said, “You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.”

“Why not? You asked me what was wrong, and I told you.”

The receptionist replied, “Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private.”

“You shouldn’t ask people questions in a room full of strangers if the answer could embarrass anyone,” the man said. Then he walked out and waited several minutes before re-entering.

The receptionist smiled smugly and said, “Yes?”

“There’s something wrong with my ear.”

The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. “And what is wrong with your ear, sir?”

“I can’t piss out of it.”

The waiting room erupted in laughter.

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The lesson: Mess with seniors, and you’re going to lose!

Thanks Kristi!!!

Something to Smile Over……….*)*

A list of the worst possible things to hear before, during, or after a rectal exam.

1. Somebody’s been working out.
2. Before we start I should tell you, I have enormous hands.
3. God, my fingers feel like icicles.
4. Oh man, it’s a little late now, but I’m out of clean gloves. Don’t worry, the guy before you was clean as a whistle.
5. Was I wearing my ring before the exam?
6. Ooo … me likey!
7. Oh crap, I broke a nail.
8. Look man, no hands!
9. Dude, you’re like the world’s biggest ventriloquist’s dummy right now.
10. Hey man, I don’t know what it was and I know this is wrong but… what are you doing after this? I can move some appointments around and- hey! Where are you going? Don’t you walk away from me! We were magical! I know where you live!
11. Wow, that’s the smoothest whatever-the-hell-that-is I’ve ever felt.
12. I don’t want you to panic or anything… but I’m stuck.
13. Yahtzee!
14. You know I’m not a real doctor, right?

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Just Thought I’d Ask You This Question……1/23-)*

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What is the first memory that comes to mind that makes you SMILE right away?

Just Thought I’d Ask You This Question…..1/22-)*

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How safe do you think getting a X-ray really is?
(Take a look at this!)

Joke of the Night…. For a Quick Laugh-)**

Answered Prayers
The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to
express praise for answered prayers. A lady stood and walked to
the
podium.
She said, “I have a Praise. Two months ago, my husband, Tom, had
a
terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed.
The
pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could
help
him.”
You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation
as
they imagined the pain that poor Tom must have experienced.
“Tom was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and
every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors
performed
a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece
together the crushed remnants of Tom’s scrotum, and wrap wire
around it to
hold it in place.”
Again, the men in the congregation were unnerved and squirmed
uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on
Tom.
“Now,” she announced in a quavering voice, “thank the Lord, Tom
is
out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his
scrotum
should recover completely.”
All the men sighed with relief. The pastor rose and tentatively
asked if  anyone else had something to say.
A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium.
He said, “I’m Tom.”
The entire congregation held its breath.
“I just want to tell my wife that the word is sternum.”

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