You gotta LAUGH at this JOKE…or at least SMILE-)*….1/6

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The Cremated Husband

Betty lost her husband George three weeks ago. She had him cremated and brought his ashes home and kept them on the end table.

The other day she picked up the urn and went out to the patio.

She sat down at the patio table and poured him out on the table.

She sat there looking at the ashes while tracing her fingers in them.

After a few minutes she started talking to the ashes.

‘George, you know that dishwasher you promised me? I bought it with the insurance money!’

She paused for a minute tracing her fingers in the ashes then said,’George, remember that car you promised me? Well, I also bought it with the insurance money!’

Again, she paused for a few minutes and while tracing her fingers in the ashes she said, ‘George, that diamond ring you promised me?

Bought it too, with the insurance money!’

Finally, still tracing her fingers in the ashes, She said, ‘George,remember that blow job I promised you?’

‘Here it comes.’

Thanks to my good friend, Pam for this one! Too funny!

A Wife’s Revenge……..

Too Funny!

An old italian man and woman were married for years even though
they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and
yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement
was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most. “When I die
I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you
for the rest of your life!” They believed he practiced black magic
and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at
all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished.
He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a
closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local
bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her
actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a
group to ask these questions: “Are you not worried? Concerned? Afraid
of this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would
dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for
the rest of your life?” The wife put down her drink and said…”let
the old bastard dig. I had him buried upside down.”