Surrogate Father…LAUGH with DORAZ*

The Smiths had no children and decided to use a proxy father to
start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr.
Smith kissed his wife and said, “I’m off. The man should be here
soon”.

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

“Good morning madam. You don’t know me, but I’ve come
to….”

“Oh, no need to explain. I’ve been expecting you,” Mrs Smith cut
in.

“Really?” the photographer asked. “Well, good! I’ve made a
specialty of babies.”

“That’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have
a seat. Just where do we start?” asked Mrs Smith, blushing.

“Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one
on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living
room floor is fun too; you can really spread out.”

“Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work for Harry
and me.

“Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time.
But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or
seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”

“I hope we can get this over with quickly,” gasped Mrs
Smith.

“Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I’d love
to be in and out in five minutes, but you’d be disappointed with
that, I’m sure.”

“Don’t I know!!” Mrs Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio
of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus in
downtown London.”

“Oh my!!” Mrs Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

“And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider
their mother was so difficult to work with.” The photographer
handed Mrs Smith the picture.

“She was difficult?” asked Mrs Smith.

“Yes, I’m afraid so I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to
get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five
deep, pushing to get a good look.”

“Four and five deep?” asked Mrs Smith, eyes widened in
amazement.

“Yes,” the photographer said. “And for more than three hours
too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could
hardly concentrate. Then darkness approached and I began to rush my
shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment I
just packed it all in.”

Mrs Smith leaned forward. “You mean they actually chewed on
your, er..,um.., ah…. equipment?”

“That’s right. Well madam, if you’re ready, I’ll set up my
tripod so that we can get to work.”

“Tripod??” Mrs Smith looked extremely worried now.

“Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much
too big for me to hold while I’m getting ready for action. Madam?
Madam?

Good Grief, she’s fainted!!

Advertisement

SMILE FOR A FRIDAY*

OH MY GOODNESS……..

The True Meaning of Easter….a STORY for CHILDREN*

What an awfully sad day it had been for the friends of Jesus! They had stood watching sorrowfully, as Jesus hung on the cross dying. They didn’t fully understand why it had to happen.

They believed that Jesus was the Son of God, and they remembered how He had healed the sick and made blind people see. They remembered how He had fed thousands of people with just a few loaves of bread and fish. They even remembered how He had caused dead people to come back to life. He was such a good, kind man; why did He have to die?

Jesus on the cross

Just before the sun was beginning to sink into the west, Joseph, one of Jesus’ friends, noticed that Jesus was no longer breathing. He hurriedly went to ask Pilate if he could have the body of Jesus so he could bury Him. When Pilate agreed, Joseph and Nicodemus (another friend) carefully wrapped Jesus’ body in clean cloths. Then they took Him to a tomb to bury Him.

The next day, the Pharisees started thinking about Jesus. They were the people that had wanted to kill Jesus. They remembered how He had taught them, saying that He would rise again after three days. They were worried that it might be true! They also thought that Jesus’ disciples would remember and might try to steal the body from the tomb just so they could say that Jesus rose again. They went to Pilate, suggesting that the tomb be closed up with a huge stone and that guards be placed all around the tomb.

Jesus is alive

Just before daylight the next day, the most amazing thing happened! There was a GREAT EARTHQUAKE! An ANGEL from the Lord came down from heaven, moved the gigantic stone away from the door of the tomb and sat on it. The guards began to shake with fear! They fell down to the ground as if they were dead!

spring flowers

Mary and some other women had decided to get up very early in the morning and go to visit the tomb where Jesus was placed. While walking down the road, they were discussing how they were going to get inside the tomb. They had brought along some spices and perfume that they wanted to place on Jesus’ body. They knew the huge stone had been placed in the doorway and they had no idea how they were going to move it.

What a SURPRISE they found when they reached the tomb! The stone had already been moved! And . . . there was an ANGEL sitting on the stone! The women were quite afraid, but the angel spoke gently to them:

women at the tomb

“Don’t be afraid. I know that you have come to see Jesus. He is not here; for he is risen just as he said. Come inside and see the place where he lay.”

The women went inside the tomb and found it empty, just as the angel had told them.

The angel spoke to the women one more time:

“Go quickly and tell the other disciples that Jesus has risen from the dead; and he is going into Galilee where you will see him.”

spring flowers

The women did just as the angel had told them. They ran quickly from the tomb, with fear and great joy, to tell the good news to the other disciples. But . . . when the women found Peter and their other friends and tried to tell them the good news, . . . no one believed them!

When the women persisted, Peter decided that he needed to find out for himself.

He ran all the way to the tomb.

He went inside.

He saw the cloths that had been wrapped around Jesus, but the body was not there.

He wondered if it could possibly be true. Did Jesus really raise from the dead? Was Jesus really alive?

spring flowers

Two of Jesus’ other friends were going on a journey to a village called Emmaus. As they walked and talked, they discussed all the things that had happened over the past few days. A man came along and joined the group. He walked along with them and wanted to join their discussion. Cleopas began telling the man about how Jesus was crucified on the cross. They talked about how the women found the empty tomb.

As they continued their journey, they invited the man to come in with them and have dinner. When they sat down to eat their meal, the man picked up a loaf of bread and broke it in pieces. Then he prayed for the meal and gave the bread to the men. At that very moment they realized that the man was JESUS! They had been talking to Jesus the whole time and didn’t even know it!

Jesus at a meal with his friends

Then . . . ANOTHER strange thing happened. As soon as they realized who it really was that sat at the table with them . . . Jesus disappeared! They talked about the wonderful time they had talking with Jesus down the road, and they just couldn’t help talking about his strange disappearance. They got up from their meal and returned to Jerusalem where they told all the other disciples the good news that Jesus REALLY DID raise from the dead and had talked with them.

As they were talking, Jesus again appeared to them. They were afraid and thought they were seeing a ghost, but Jesus told them not to be afraid. He showed them His hands and feet where He had been nailed to the cross, so they would believe that it was really Him.

When they saw the nail holes in His hands and feet, they finally believed that Jesus had risen from the dead, just like He said He would. They were soooo happy and joyful to have their friend with them again. They were soooo excited that they had to tell EVERYBODY the good news that JESUS IS ALIVE!

Text Version
By Linda Sue Pochodzay Edwards

Did you SMILE today?*

Yin andYang…Anyone???……….Cute photos*

“”Chinese philosophy) the two fundamental principles, one negative, dark, passive, cold, wet, and feminine (yin) and the other (yang) positive, bright, active, dry, hot and masculine. The interactions and balance of these forces in people and nature influence their behavior and fate.””

More on TWINS………..*

Twins
There’s two to wash
There’s two to dry,
There’s two who argue
There’s two who cry.

One’s in the mud
Having a ball
The other holds a crayon
Another marked wall.

Some days seem endless
My patience grows thin.
Why was I chosen
To be a Mother of Twins?

The answer comes clear
At the end of each day,
As I tuck them in bed
And to myself I say.

There’s two to kiss
There’s two to hug.
And best of all
There’s two to love.

(http://www.geocities.com/zoey)