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    slpmartin on Times of Reflection
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    Doraz on Stay Positive
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    Doraz on Keep on talking
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    Doraz on Skull
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    Doraz on My Brain
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    Doraz on Hello Everyone*
    slpmartin on Hello Everyone*
    Doraz on New Years Resolution in p…
    Doraz on Beauty of this world

RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a rat’s hiney. It’s the tortoise life for me!
1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4.. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

I’m retired. Go around me.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

15. When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m hereafter

19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE……….??????

Have a fun week! Be sure to laugh and smile often.

Luisa Doraz

More laughs for you……

 Sticks & stones may break my bones, BUT chains & whips excite me!

 Autocorrect can kiss my ask..!!

 My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

 The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.

 If you blink your eyes really fast, it looks like there are strobe lights in the room. I have been having random parties throughout the day!

 I love in horror movies how the person yells out “hello?!” as if the killer is gonna say “yeah I’m n the kitchen, want a sandwich?”

. When butterflies are in love, do they feel human’s in their stomach?

Still laughing?

Have a great weekend.

I am heading for the mountains.

See you soon.

R. Kelly….I BELIEVE I CAN FLY*

“I Believe I Can Fly”

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I’m leaning on the everlasting arms If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it [Chorus:]
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it [Chorus]

Hey, cause I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it (I can do it)
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

[Chorus]

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly-eye-eye-eye
Hum, fly-eye-eye

Have a GREAT weekend.
Believe in Yourself;
Luisa Doraz

Importance of Communication Clarity …….JOKE

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well,.. Vicki is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Vicki surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Vicki.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, ‘but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you  yesterday…’

‘Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Passed on to me by my friend Pam S.

Thanks for the laughs Pam.

PG-13 CARTOONS…Men vs Women…LAUGH with DORAZ*…week 8

Take a look at these cartoons my friend Pam S. sent me. I have seen some before, but they still make me smile. Hope you have fun with them.

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As I Mature…LAUGH with DORAZ*…CARTOON

Pass this around. My friend Pam S. sent it to me. I thought it was a cute cartoon to share with you all. Hope you like it. Have a fantastic time doing whatever you will be doing.

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

LAUGH with DORAZ… SILLY CARTOON…Casual Friday*

“So Dad left when he found out about Mom and the Panda.”…LAUGH with DORAZ*

Think about all of the wild and crazy stuff you have heard over the years. Blows you away, huh? I love that we can be who we are…as long as we do not hurt anyone else while being us. Have fun. Smile. Be nice to those around you. Make their day.

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

GREEN STUFF…LAUGH with DORAZ*

Wow, dude… I went through your bag, man, and I found this
Little bag of green stuff. So I totally ate it.
Awesome. Got any munchies? I can’t feel my tongue…. Hahahaha

*
*
*

WHEN YOU GET THE MUNCHIES….WHAT DO YOU REACH FOR?

FIREMAN SEX… LAUGH with DORAZ*

A FIREMAN came home from work one day and told his wife, ‘You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station: BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets, BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole, BELL 3 rings and we’re on the fire truck ready to go.

‘From now on when I say BELL 1

I want you to strip naked.

When I say BELL 2

I want you to jump in bed.

And when I say BELL 3

We are going to make love all night.
‘ The next night he came home from work and yelled

‘ BELL 1!’ The wife promptly took all her clothes off.

When he yelled ‘BELL 2!’, the wife jumped into bed.
When he yelled ‘ BELL 3!’, they began making love.

After a few minutes the wife yelled ‘BELL 4!’

‘What the hell is BELL 4?’ asked the husband?

‘ROLL OUT MORE HOSE, ‘she replied’
YOU’RE NOWHERE NEAR THE FIRE.’

Contributed by Pam W.