Christmas Fun…LAUGH with DORAZ*

What’s red, white and blue at Christmas time?

A sad candy cane!

Why do Mummies like Christmas so much?
Because of all the wrapping!

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Donut.
Donut who?
Donut open ’til Christmas!

What do you call an elf who steals gift wrap from the rich and gives it to the poor?
Ribbon Hood!

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

I GOTTA…….
I gotta dance
I gotta live
I gotta laugh
I gotta give
I gotta smile
I gotta say
Dancing makes me feel alive
Dancing is the way!
I gotta be me
I gotta do what I feel
I gotta have fun
I gotta make life a big deal!
I gotta LIVE……….until I no longer do!
How about you?

The Power of Woman…..LAUGH with DORAZ*

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.

They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.

When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.

Bad Idea…….LAUGH with DORAZ*

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

Did you hear about the fellow that was talking to his buddy, and he said, ‘I don’t know what to get my wife for her birthday.She has everything, and besides, she can afford to buy anything she wants, so I’m stumped.’

His buddy said, ‘I have an idea. Why don’t you make up a certificate that says she can have two hours of great sex, any way she wants it.She’ll probably be thrilled!’

So the first fella did just that.

The next day his buddy asked, ‘Well, did you take my suggestion? How’d it turn out?’ ‘She loved it. She jumped up, thanked me, kissed me on the mouth, and ran out the door yelling…. I’ll see you in two hours!’

10 Husbands, Still a Virgin….LAUGH with DORAZ*

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

“Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative; he kept telling me how great it was going to be.

Husband #2 was in software services; he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.

Husband #3 was from field services; he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.

Husband #4 was in telemarketing; even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.

Husband #5 was an engineer; he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.

Husband #6 was from finance and administration; he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.

Husband #7 was in marketing; although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.

Husband #8 was a psychologist; all he ever did was talk about it.

Husband #9 was a gynecologist; all he did was look at it.

Husband #10 was a stamp collector. … God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”

“Good,” said the new husband, “but, why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us