CAUTION…Be Careful who you VOTE for…JOKE*

While walking down the street one day a “Member of Parliament” is tragically hit by a truck and dies.
His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
‘Welcome to heaven,’ says St. Peter. ‘Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we’re not sure what to do with you.’
‘No problem, just let me in,’ says the man.
‘Well, I’d like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we’ll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.’
‘Really, I’ve made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,’ says the MP.
‘I’m sorry, but we have our rules.’

And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him.
Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.
They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go.
Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises….

The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
‘Now it’s time to visit heaven.’
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
‘Well, then, you’ve spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.’
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: ‘Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.’
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell.
Now the doors of the elevator open and he’s in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage.
He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above.
The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder.
‘I don’t understand,’ stammers the MP. ‘Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there’s just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?’
The devil looks at him, smiles and says, “Yesterday, we were campaigning.. …
Today, you voted.”

Have a fun week.

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

Reflecting on this week…..

What was the worst thing that happened this week to you?

I would have to say that not getting enough sleep ranks up there pretty high in my brain. I have a tendency to get up early and do a bunch of stuff and then go back to sleep for a few hours. The problem is I usually do not fall asleep till about 2:00 in the morning! I think I have a solution to the problem. I bought some ORGANIC NIGHTY NIGHT Caffeine Free Herbal Tea to try tonight. Wish me luck!

HAVE A WEEKEND FULL OF SMILES

Importance of Communication Clarity …….JOKE

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well,.. Vicki is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.

At the end of the line stands Vicki surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo’s. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.

The 2 men watch in amazement as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo’s legs.

The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Vicki.

‘I’m sorry,’ he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, ‘but I think you misunderstood the instructions I gave you  yesterday…’

‘Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.

Passed on to me by my friend Pam S.

Thanks for the laughs Pam.

Oh Geez ….

So, I’m at the store,right and then I get this person giving me that look,right. I just say to myself, “Like what gives?” I just kind of , like mind my own business and just look straight on, right. So what does this chick do? She like bangs right into me,right. I said real calm like, “Hey, so what gives?” She just gave me that blank look and said,” Like REALLY?” I said .”You are like totally strange.” She says, “Whatever!” She then flips her hair back and proceeds to the check out. I just decided to smile and say, “Valley Girl Power,right?”

I was in The Valley today, in case you did not figure it out. REALLY! lol

Q: Did you hear about the two California Valley Girls who froze to death in a drive-in movie?
A: They went to see “Closed for the Winter.”

Believe in yourself;

Luisa Doraz

FOR YOUR ENTERTAINMENT*…week 7

This is really cool! And yes, I got up off my chair to try it! It’s freaky!

This is the craziest thing I’ve seen in a long time.
For those of you in the 21st century (e.g. Blackberry
Owners), you’ll need to look at this on a PC. You also
have to get out of your seat and walk away from
your computer. People may think you’re crazy. But it’s well worth it.

When you look at this picture you see it’s Albert Einstein.

But if you stand 15 feet away it will become Marilyn Monroe.
Now what do you think of the reliability of eyewitness testimony?

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See if you all can figure this one out.

CLICK-Grandma’s House…Home Day Care

PG-13..THE CAT IN THE HAT FOR OLDER KIDS…LAUGH with DORAZ*

The Cat in the Hat gives his opinion on aging.

Thanks to Pam S. for this one…

WHAT IS A NITRATE?…LAUGH with DORAZ*

BACK TO REALITY*…LAUGH with DORAZ*

A smile – is a sign of joy.

A hug – is a sign of love.

A laugh – is a sign of happiness.

And a friend like me??
Well, heck ….that’s just a sign of good taste!!

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I just received a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world.

I told them to buzz off! Anybody who fits in my clothes isn’t starving!

CONTRIBUTED by my friend…..:KRISTI KEYPERS

UPDATE: We just got home. I have a lot to do to catch up. Be patient with me. Thanks for all of your love and support. I smiled and smiled. I will be playing catch up with you all. We had bad internet connections along the way! My family was soooo upset, they did not know what to do! I was kind of happy! They had to talk, for a change.

Love ya.

Luisa

BEE CAREFUL…LAUGH with DORAZ*

A man was driving down the road and ran out of gas. Just at that moment, a bee flew in his window.
The bee said, ‘What seems to be the problem?’
‘I’m out of gas,’ the man replied.
The bee told the man to wait right there and flew away. Minutes later, the man watched as an entire swarm of bees flew to his car and into his gas tank. After a few minutes, the bees flew out.

‘Try it now,’ said one bee.

The man turned the ignition key and the car started right up. ‘Wow!’ the man exclaimed, ‘what did you put in my gas tank’?

The bee answered,

Keep scrolling Down!

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I see you smiling…….

CONTRIBUTED by:KRISTI KEYPERS

THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY FRIENDS*

Image Hosted by ImageShack.us

It seems that I have been having to juggle many challenges these days…
I welcome them, yet I grow tired…
The love and support of my family and friends give me the strength I need to continue…
I am charged and stable to make my decisions.

For this, I wish to thank you all.
The ocean waves are at low tide right now.
I will be at peace knowing you will all be there…
In case high tides roll in ….

Luisa Doraz

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A saleswoman is driving toward home in northern Arizona …
… when she sees a Native American woman hitchhiking. Because the trip had been long and quiet, she stops the car and the Native American woman gets in.
After a bit of small talk, the Native American woman notices a brown bag on the front seat. “What’s in the bag?”, she asks.

It’s a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband”, says the saleswoman.

The Native American woman is silent for a while and then says, “Good trade.”

CONTRIBUTED by:KRISTI KEYPERS