As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don’t really give a rat’s hiney. It’s the tortoise life for me!
1.. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2.. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3.. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4.. A tortoise doesn’t run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don’t think so.

I’m retired. Go around me.

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I’m older here’s what I’ve discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It’s hard to make a comeback when you haven’t been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you’re in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he’d have put them on my knees.

15. When I’m finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they’re everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter . . .I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I’m hereafter

19. Funny, I don’t remember being absent-minded.


Have a fun week! Be sure to laugh and smile often.

Luisa Doraz


10 Responses

  1. What is good for the animals are good only for them Dont imitate –Fish never get cold and cows dont wear glasses

    The biggest disadvantage of old age is that you cant overgrow it
    I dont like to do things I did 20 years ago–like looking in the mirror

    • LOL Lviss, you make perfect sense to me! I think it will always be OK to look in a mirror. Just smile. That always makes us look younger and happier. I hope all is well with you. I ALWAYS love your comments. πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ 😎

  2. Oh…those were cute…well the ones I could remember. πŸ™‚ Have a great week my friend.

  3. Cute jokes! :+) Sounds to me like a few good reasons Not to exercise! :+) Whoo Hoo!!!! :+)
    I was just saying the other day to Navar “8. Some days, you’re the dog; some days you’re the hydrant.” That about sums it up huh? :+)

  4. So who’s she giving my hiney to???

  5. Getting old wouldn’t be so bad if it wasn’t for the age thing.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: