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An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.””Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!”
*****
A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”
*****
A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.
There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”
The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.”
Have fun~
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thank you for the laughts today……
Glad to see you smiling. 🙂
Nothing like a good chuckle at the end of the day…thanks!
We should be laughing All day, right? 🙂
Nice ones for fun after a long time –
Teacher –Who discovered America ?
Student-Tell me first who lost it
Why did the brunette tiptoe across the medicine cup board
She didnt want to wake the sleeping pills –
Middle age is when your age starts to show around the middle –Bob Hope
Lviss, you are a GREAT VP! I LOVE all of your contributions to my little blog. You make it EXTRA special. NEVER stop visiting. I would be toooo sad. 😦
Hope all is well. I was feeling kind of sillier today,! 🙂 🙂
Thank you Doraz for the encouragement —
🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂
Make it a GREAT day Lviss!
All these a great! Thanks for the laugh today. :+) I’m still smiling.
🙂 We should all be smiling, huh?
Yes :+)
🙂 😎 😉