ADULT DOG STORE…LAUGH with DORAZ*

Believe it or not

These are Memphis , TN ‘s REAL 911 Calls!

Dispatcher : 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller: I heard what sounded like gunshots coming from the brown house on the corner.
Dispatcher: Do you have an address?
Caller: No, I have on a blouse and slacks, why?

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is your emergency?
Caller : Someone broke into my house and took a bite out of my ham and cheese sandwich .
Dispatcher : Excuse me?
Caller : I made a ham and cheese sandwich and left it on the kitchen table and when I came back from the bathroom, someone had taken a bite out of it.
Dispatcher : Was anything else taken?
Caller : No, but this has happened to me before and I’m sick and tired of it!

Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What is the nature of your emergency?
Call er: I’m trying to reach nine eleven but my phone doesn’t have an eleven on it.
Dispatcher: This is nine eleven.
Caller: I thought you just said it was nine-one-one
Dispatcher: Yes, ma’am nine-one-one and nine-eleven are the same thing.
Caller: Honey, I may be old, but I’m not stupid.

My Personal Favorite!!!
Dispatcher: 9-1-1 What’s the nature of your emergency?
Caller: My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart
Dispatcher: Is this her first child?
Caller: No, you idiot! This is her husband!

And the winner is………….

Dispatcher: 9-1-1
Caller: Yeah, I’m having trouble breathing. I’m all out of breath. Darn….I think I’m going to pass out.
Dispatcher: Sir, where are you calling from?
Caller: I’m at a pay phone. North and Foster.
Dispatcher: ! Sir, an ambulance is on the way. Are you an asthmatic?
Caller: No
Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?
Caller: Running from the Police.

JOKE CONTRIBUTED by:KRISTI KEYPERS

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33 Responses

  1. LOL…it’s early Sunday morning here and you know just how to put a smile on my face….I am so happy I have befriended somone as cheery as you…hope you have a wonderful day my friend ~ Hugs x

    • Well, you just made my afternoon. 🙂 I am getting ready to go out again. I will be visiting my mom. She will drive me crazy, but…what the hey. lol 🙂 Have a fun day. 🙂

  2. Oh, Luisa, your funnies always make me laugh and feel so great.

    Okay, seriously? That ham sandwich one? Is that guy disturbed? I think so!

    Thanks for being you, Luisa!

    xo

  3. the queen of humor…
    baby is coming too soon …hehehe

  4. Ahhhhhh! You just midwifed my first BIG laugh of the day! The next to the last one caught me off guard…and that’s hard to do with this post, cause I come from the South and know some of the dear people who might’ve made those calls! Thank You, Laughter Queen! Cheers and Namaste. 🙂

  5. I LIKE THE THIRD ONE . A POLICE VAN WILL FOLLOW THE AMBULANCE .

  6. Oh this was a perfect way to end my day…thanks again for the smiles.

  7. 🙂 I love those and I love the Darwin awards too. Hilarious!

  8. By the way, I had a dog that really needed an adult dog store. It liked to have it’s way with Sydney’s stuffed bear (usually in front of company). UGH! HA HA.

  9. lol like the “address” one, and the expression on the dog’s face is priceless 🙂 Happy Sunday!

  10. Very amusing…and the cartoon!!

  11. This is merely to re-establish post notification by email after a change enforced on me, sorry!

  12. LOL BRILLIANT, COULDNT STOP LAUGHIN SHOULD RENAME THIS PEE WITH DORAZ LOL XXX

  13. runing from the police…ha. i can believe it…too funny. thanks for the smiles today doraz…

  14. I was nearly at the end when I realised it wasn’t all the same series of events!!!

  15. Popped in from Angelia’s blog, sure glad I did as I have enjoyed my visit 🙂

    “Dispatcher: What were you doing before you started having trouble breathing?

    Caller: Running from the Police.”

    Gotta Love It!!

    • I am sooo happy you joined in on the fun here. I hope you will not be a stranger. 🙂 Have a fun week with that great family of yours. I loved your photos. 🙂

  16. these are soooo crazy!

  17. too funny. I love your jokes.

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