1. Your house plants are alive, and you can’t smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of “hook up” and “break up.”
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as “dressed up.”
10. You’re the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won’t turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don’t know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down, and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet, instead of McDonald’s leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps sometimes between noon and 6 PM.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. If you’re female, you go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer “pretty good stuff.”
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. “I just can’t drink the way I used to” replaces “I’m never going to drink that much again.”
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. You read this entire list,looking desperately for one sign that doesn’t apply to you and can’t find one to save your sorry OLD butt.



34 Responses

  1. Oh I laughed and laughed and laughed over this!!

    I so miss The Weather Channel, now that it’s off the air. I used to keep it on in the background as I computered!! And LIVED for live hurricane alerts. Of course, I’m not in a hurricane zone, but I felt I just HAD to keep up with what was going on.

    And yes, $4 wine is no longer heaven. 🙂


  2. Wait — I think TWC is off-air. Or maybe we no longer get it since we switched tv providers. And I miss it. 🙂



  3. You made me laugh until I cried. You are so funny.

  4. yes, you always have the funniest jokes.

  5. haha this is hilarious!! So true too ;-)!

  6. That’s a fact. I am old. Damn, when did that happen?


  7. It is not funny?……..I know I am old!
    And if I am grown up – of course not!

  8. You always put a smile on my face 🙂 Thanks and a lovely post 🙂

  9. I haven’t grown up yet! Happy Memorial Day weekend 🙂

  10. Oh…my…I was laughing at the list until I realized how many were true…now that was funny thanks for the laughs!

  11. The entire list made me laugh, and consider a retirement plan. lol
    Have a fun weekend 🙂

  12. awww crap. I’ve gone and grown up already! I swore I’d never do that. 🙂 Very hilarious post.

  13. Happy Sunday,
    Happy Memorial Day!
    Love your smiles!

    • Hi Jingle…Just got home. I plan on catching up with my visits. Hope all is well in your world. I will be over soon. 🙂 Have fun with your great family. 🙂

  14. Who’d pay more than $4 for a bottle of wine??? Pure extravagance!!!

  15. how you made me nostalgic about those good old days when all these were lies 😦

  16. hhhehehe whats the point of growing up, just to get old xxx

  17. Congratulations on your Poetry Awards!

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