Guessing Game …LAUGH with DORAZ*

“Joke…That Dirty Old Man!”

A 50 year old woman decides to give herself a facelift for her birthday.
She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a newsstand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, ‘I hope you don’t mind my asking,
But how old do you think I am?’
‘About 32,’ is the reply.’
‘Nope! I’m exactly 50,’ the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald’s and asks the counter girl
The very same question.
The girl replies, ‘I’d guess about 29.’
The woman replies with a big smile, ‘Nope, I’m 50.’
Now she’s feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug store
on her way down the street.
She goes up to the c ounter to get some mints and asks the clerk this
Burning question.
The clerk responds, ‘Oh, I’d say 30.’
Again she proudly responds, ‘I’m 50, but thank you!’
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting next to her the same question.
He replies, ‘Lady, I’m 81 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I was young there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was. It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my hands under Your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old you are.’

They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets the best of her. She finally blurts out, ‘What the hell, go ahead.’
He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully.
He bounces and weighs each breast and he gently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, ‘Okay, okay….How old am I?’

He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, ‘Madam, you are 50.’

Stunned and amazed, the woman says, ‘That was incredible, how could you tell?’

The old man says, ‘Promise you won’t get mad?’
‘I promise I won’t,’ she says.

‘I was behind you at McDonald’s.’

CONTRIBUTED by:KRISTI KEYPERS

Advertisements

27 Responses

  1. Oh geez!
    ROFL!
    I wasn’t expecting that!

  2. lol. oh my…smiles.

  3. Bwhahahahahah…very good…i must admit i was stumped by that one….

  4. Hahahahhaha…too funny!!!!!

  5. That’s a Good One! Funny promise you won’t get mad?

  6. Have many smiles today Brian. 🙂

  7. Robin….must have need more coffee. lol 🙂

  8. Starla….. a promise is a promise, right? lol 🙂 Have fun today.

  9. cool jokes!
    U R The Best Joke Teller!

  10. Ha Ha Ha Ha I’ll have to hang around at McDonald’s more!!!

  11. lol as always hilarious xxx

  12. KNEW EVERYTHING AND STILL HAD HIS WAY. IT PAYS TO BE OLD .
    THERE NOT MANY NO MCDONALDS HERE TO EVESDROP .

  13. Happy Mother’s Day!

    • Jingle….glad to see that you are keeping busy and having fun with blogging. I am honored you include me. I do my best to do what I can when I can. Thank you. 🙂 Have a fun week.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: