Ouch, that hurt!……….this joke sizzles…..

A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they’d have to drastically alter their life-style.

“If you’ll just learn to cook,” he said, “we can fire the chef.”

“Okay,” she said. “And if you learn how to make love, we can fire the gardener.”

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
— Socrates
I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: ‘No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.’
— Eleanor Roosevelt
Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement.
— Mark Twain

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury

— Groucho Marx

Advertisement