Laugh vith Doraz….A Womans Story*

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question?….What do women really want? Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: the princess, the priests, the wise men and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer.

Many people advised him to consult the old witch, for only she would have the answer..

But the price would be high; as the witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, the most noble of the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur’s closest friend!

Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunchbacked and hideous, had only one tooth, smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc. He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.

He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; but Lancelot, learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur.

He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life and the preservation of the Round Table.

Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered Arthur’s question thus:

What a woman really wants, she answered….is to be in charge of her own life.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that Arthur’s life would be spared.

And so it was, the neighboring monarch granted Arthur his freedom and Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding.

The honeymoon hour approached and Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him… The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed. The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened.

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, she would henceforth, be her horrible deformed self only half the time and the beautiful maiden the other half.
Which would he prefer? Beautiful during the day….or night?

Lancelot pondered the predicament. During the day, a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch ? Or, would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day, but by night, a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous intimate moments?

What would YOU do?

What Lancelot chose is below. BUT…..make YOUR choice before you scroll down below. OKAY?

Noble Lancelot said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time because he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life.

Now….what is the moral to this story?

*****

The moral is….
If you don’t let a woman have her own way….
Things are going to get ugly

Getting Old…..

I don’t know about you all, but I am getting SO TIRED of all the nasty attitudes people are showing because of this election. One of my friends shared these with me. I needed to laugh. Hope if you are in the same place..these help!

…….VOTE…….

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.
She turned to me and asked, ‘Are you having it catered’?
And that, my friend, is the definition of ‘OLD’!

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very
elderly widow and asked, ‘How old was your husband?’
’98,’ she replied: ‘Two years older than me’
‘So you’re 96,’ the undertaker commented.
She responded, ‘Hardly worth going home, is it?’

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
‘And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?’ the reporter
asked.
She simply replied, ‘No peer pressure.’

I’ve sure gotten old!
I’ve had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought
prostate cancer and diabetes I’m half blind, can’t hear anything quieter
than a jet engine, take 40 different medications that make me dizzy,
winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and
feet anymore.
Can’t remember if I’m 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver’s
license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor’s
permission to join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted,
gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour..
But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had
two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes
scattered over Wal-Mart.
‘Wal-Mart?’ the preacher exclaimed. ‘Why Wal-Mart?’
‘Then I’ll be sure my daughters visit me twice a week’.

My memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory’s not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It’s scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says, ‘For fast
relief.’

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good
fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now, I think you’re supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others.
Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they
are!

Always REMEMBER this:
You don’t stop laughing because you grow old; You grow old because you stop
laughing…

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
I don’t want to brag or make anyone jealous or anything, but I can still
fit into the earrings I wore in high school.

Pace…Peace…

I feel it is time..once again…to return to my place of peace. I need to find the time to concentrate on my personal growth, both mentally and spiritually.I will only keep positive thoughts of you all in my quest. I wish you all the abliity to make peace within your souls and find the true path of happiness in this life.

I have decided to focus on individuals who will bring positive energy to this world. I will focus on strength. Beliefs. Values. Ethics. Commitment. Dignity. Self-Respect. Truthfulness. Unity. World peace.

I am not pleased with politics. I am more of a business woman. I believe in getting things done. I believe in being consistent and empathetic.I believe you should be made proud of what you accomplish. I believe we should all believe we can accomplish. My parents came to America from Italy. They were proud to become citizens and start contributing to this great nation. They raised us to believe we could do anything with hard work and truth. They did not ask for any help, they did it with the support of family and friends. They taught us to be proud of what we do and what we have.

I am sure I will be back. Until then, stay happy and healthy. I am sure I will be by to check on you all. Have fun blogging.

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

Image Hosted by ImageShack.usI know of your existence…
Cause you greet me with your words…
They bring me smiles…
They bring me laughter…
They bring me hope of peace in this world…

I am fortunate to be able…
To enter your world for a while…
That brings me smiles…
That brings me laughter…
That brings me hope of peace in this world…

I can feel the sorrow of some of you…
By the sadness in your words…
What can I do to bring you a smile…
What can I do to bring you laughter…
What can I do to make you feel at peace with this world…

I will start by telling you all…
I AM THINKING OF YOU
*
*
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MAKE IT A PEACEFUL DAY
*
*
Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

Hello Friends. Hope You’re Feeling Good!….cute image*

 

An elderly couple were killed in an accident and found themselves being given a tour of heaven by Saint Peter. “Here is your oceanside condo, over there are the tennis courts, swimming pool, and two golf courses. If you need any refreshments, just stop by any of the many bars located throughout the area.””Heck, Gloria,” the old man hissed when Saint Peter walked off, “we could have been here ten years ago if you hadn’t heard about all that stupid oat bran, wheat germ, and low-fat diets!”

*****

A family of three tomatoes were walking downtown one day when the little baby tomato started lagging behind. The big father tomato walks back to the baby tomato, stomps on her, squashing her into a red paste, and says, “Ketchup!”

*****

A friend and I were standing in line at a fast-food restaurant, waiting to place our order.

There was a big sign posted. “No bills larger than $20 will be accepted.”

The woman in front of us, pointing to the sign, remarked, “Believe me, if I HAD a bill larger than $20, I wouldn’t be eating here.”

Have fun~

Birthday Fun……

Yes, that is me. My friends Fran and Jennifer surprised me with this outfit. Too cool. I kept it on at the restaurant and had no problem showing it off to the others. lol I had such a great time.We spent the whole time laughing and sharing stories. We had such delicious meals. Afterwards, we went shopping! Yes, we bought shoes! lol I just love my friends. I love the greatest gift of all…the gift of time. So precious. So wonderful. Hope you all have a great time this weekend. My hubby and I are going on a quick trip. Stay well and happy.

Celebrating a birthday…my way*

Well, tomorrow is my birthday. September 5th is my special day. I sometimes think I should just skip my birthday, but then I am reminded by family and friends that it is a special day. The day I was introduced to this crazy world of ours. lol I guess I should be happy that others want to share my happiness, right? Well, my family and friends have NO problem with making me feel special. They take me out to eat. They get me so many delicious desserts. They buy me such cute girts. I am honestly touched by all the fuss. I feel so fortunate to have such wonderful people in my life. I treasure the times I spend with them all. Memories are in my heart. I hold on to them and they help me smile when I am in one of those moods. So, I want to say THANK YOU to all of you out there who are making my birthday an extra special day. I understand everyone is busy with things in their lives, so I really so appreciate it. Hope you all have a wonderful life. Stay happy. Stay healthy. Stay in touch. Smile often. Love you all!

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

More laughs for you……

 Sticks & stones may break my bones, BUT chains & whips excite me!

 Autocorrect can kiss my ask..!!

 My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

 The average power nap is 20 minutes. This works out well because I can fit 3 of them evenly into one hour.

 If you blink your eyes really fast, it looks like there are strobe lights in the room. I have been having random parties throughout the day!

 I love in horror movies how the person yells out “hello?!” as if the killer is gonna say “yeah I’m n the kitchen, want a sandwich?”

. When butterflies are in love, do they feel human’s in their stomach?

Still laughing?

Have a great weekend.

I am heading for the mountains.

See you soon.

R. Kelly….I BELIEVE I CAN FLY*

“I Believe I Can Fly”

I used to think that I could not go on
And life was nothing but an awful song
But now I know the meaning of true love
I’m leaning on the everlasting arms If I can see it, then I can do it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it [Chorus:]
I believe I can fly
I believe I can touch the sky
I think about it every night and day
Spread my wings and fly away
I believe I can soar
I see me running through that open door
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly
I believe I can fly See I was on the verge of breaking down
Sometimes silence can seem so loud
There are miracles in life I must achieve
But first I know it starts inside of me, oh If I can see it, then I can be it
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it [Chorus]

Hey, cause I believe in me, oh

If I can see it, then I can do it (I can do it)
If I just believe it, there’s nothing to it

[Chorus]

Hey, if I just spread my wings
I can fly
I can fly
I can fly, hey
If I just spread my wings
I can fly-eye-eye-eye
Hum, fly-eye-eye

Have a GREAT weekend.
Believe in Yourself;
Luisa Doraz

Memories in the sun*

How did I ever miss it?

How could it be ignored?

Loud and inviting at the same time.

Offering many silly or quiet moments.

Take a look.

Embrace the madness.

Sometimes angry and making a point.

Other times timid and wanting your challenges.

The beach is all around you, if you live near by.

Do you take it for granted each day you drive by it?

Do you just assume that it will always be there for you?

Why not take some time to introduce yourself.

You will be amazed at all the smiles.

You will welcome the waves.

You will feel the coldness of the ocean on you.

What fun.

What a miracle.

It all awaits you.

Why do you hesitate?

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

I have returned……..

Howdy all! I reckon you all are doing well? I’m just plum excited to be back home. I had a good ole time in Texas! Mighty hot. Humid as hell. Otherwise, I declare I had me a good time.

I am going to be around a little bit more now. I hope to come visit you soon. I had a great visit with my son. He does work a lot, so I spent a lot of time at the pool. I guess you can say that I got a pretty good tan now. I also spent time in the gym where he lives. I drank loads of water. I thought California was hot. Wrong!

I got to go to a real rodeo and see some bull fighting and fantastic horse riding. I also went to downtown Dallas. I saw the spot where President Kennedy was shot. I also got to go visit some cool museums.

I know I will be going back to see my son. He plans on staying there awhile. I think I will go when it is cooler there! lol

Now, I am back to reality. I do have to go to the mountains this weekend to clear brush. Other than that, I am just taking it one day at a time. Tomorrow I have a physical exam, so wish me luck.

Well, duty calls. I will see you all soon. Until then, smile and stay healthy.

Believe in Yourself;

Luisa Doraz

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